MrSparkle

@Jared_Carrabis We’ll be fine when Casas comes back

Probably the dumbest game of the season so far in a season full of dumb games. Stupid game, stupid team, stupid sport. Blow it up.

@sloprules Our whole lives we expected Burger night to be on a Friday. Turns out, it’s on a Saturday instead. Feels right.

Jake Burger has been waiting for this night his entire life. Maybe longer.

As the kids say: I had time today Normally most criticism doesn’t bother me, but this is annoying

Apparently when you have a 15 day old at home, you are not allowed to sleep in. If you do, you are accused of looking at “everywhere YouTuber videos”, and stealing their picks Obviously, it means nothing that I normally post the Dong Report by like 7am. Or, recently, at 2am

@sloprules This looks perfect

0% Data, 100% Vibes See you all in Bali

@sloprules 1 down, 6 to go

Wood✅️nbd

@sloprules We can trust James he’ll find a way to get 7 at bats tonight

James Wood might hit 7 home runs tonight.

@sloprules I don’t think this is even possible but I placed the same bet earlier today.

Why not us? Why not tonight? novig.onelink.me/JHQQ/2d2yvd2t

@sloprules @LucilleBurdge @gneiffer07 We're going to need to hire accountants to help us count all our money. Feels good.

Mark your calendars! This Friday we're looking at the greatest Thunderdome episode in the history of Thunderdome episodes. Me, @LucilleBurdge & @gneiffer07 for all the cash. Don't miss it. Sub here⬇️ (It's free) @sloprules" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">youtube.com/@sloprules

@sloprules Team, I already found 18 guys going deep tonight so these appointments are perfectly timed.

Unfortunately there will be no AM Edge or Milly Video today. (Another doctor appointment in Boston). Sorry to disappoint but it is what it is. The books aren't totally off the hook though. We'll be back in time for a Thrilly, K-Lay & NoVig stream. I almost feel bad for them.

@JimmyMcJagger @sloprules Cowards

@sloprules I felt this good about this one but the books aren’t having it, gotta spread it around I guess

Milly Parlay 5-8-26 | Presented by @PropFinderApp

@JediModi @DarthAlide Your daughter’s birth wish was to inherit generational wealth so she approves, probably

@DarthAlide She’s napping. And a huge fan of the Dong Report so she’d be sad if I didn’t have one

Same thing as yesterday, Dong Squad trusted picks: •Matt Olson •Michael Harris II •Jordan Walker •JJ Bleday •Munetaka MurakamkI •Trent Grisham •Byron Buxton •Junior Caminero •Wilyer Abreu •Brandon Nimmo •Vinnie Pasquantino •Pete Alonso Lots of dongs today, but I have full faith in the Dong Squad. 2/8 yesterday for a slight profit. Let’s make money again today

@JediModi Round robined this by 11’s just to be safe

@sloprules We should at least try

If you win a million dollars off of one slip, that should get you into the Gambling Hall of Fame. Even if it doesn't, at least you'll have a million dollars. Classic win/win situation.

@sloprules @PropFinderApp I'm not even sure if this is possible but I had the exact same 7 guys

Milly Parlay 5-7-26 | Presented by @PropFinderApp

@sloprules Usually, I would say no days off, but I've already found 12 guys going deep today so it's fine.

Due to circumstances out of my control (dr appointment), there will be no AM Edge this morning. It will be back tomorrow and we'll just pretend nothing happened. Godspeed.

@sloprules As usual

The haters thought Green May would end because of all the margaritas. The haters were wrong.

@sloprules I thought we’re all going to be millionaires but looks like we’re going to be billionaires instead. Feels good.

See you all on the other side.

@sloprules Buddy, if you are going to count dongs, at least get it right.

Buddy, he hit one the day before too.

@sloprules @Novig Team, we need to take this seriously. This could mean the difference of having only three trained monkeys driving jetskis one day instead of four or five. Is that the kind of world you want to live in?

Sal Stewart is +329 @NoVig to hit a home run tonight. At FanDuel, he's +290. We talk about this every day because it legit happens every day. Keep reading.

@sloprules Perfect strategy letting all his teammates dong first before hitting one himself. They’ll never see him coming.

Great news! Three Orioles went deep in the first inning! Bad news, none of them were named Pete Alonso.