𝙈𝙐𝙇𝙏𝙄𝙏𝙀𝙆

What are ya at?

Chat how do I get that one ski patroller to put me in a headlock? I want her to be mad when she does it but not actually iykwim

@etriclearns May I have a stake?

you've met me at a very chinese time in my life

@schitzoe Used to have one of these damn

It has very expressive eyes.

Trying to finish a task before the nice meal you cooked yourself cools beyond repair

@cremieuxrecueil Type 4 aka "slipped and fell on me arse"

Everyone has stripes known as Blaschko's lines. These are normally not visible and are generally only present if there's an issue, chimerism, etc. But some birds can see them!

I caved during Lent and am now suffering the consequences

@34yearoldfriend I bet Mike is related to Matt & Steve

Is Mike’s Hot Honey, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and Jersey Mike’s all the same Mike?

After 2 hours of searching I have located my Sony Walkman, narrowly avoiding the need to psychologically harm myself and others

@scootykins You picking the frozen sweet n sour or honey mustard packets?

If they were serious about ubi it would include a raw milk and frozen chicken tender ration each week

@ARmastrangelo Ben Stiller was never funny

Ben Stiller is one of those comedic actors from your childhood that you think are hilarious as a kid, only to reach adulthood and realize he never was, you were just eight.

Playing an old video game not because I really want to but because it seems like the only reasonable defense against getting one shotted by the machines after a winter outside

@keysmashbandit MAID wait list should be 2 days tops

The last time I checked my wait list for a family doctor it said 8 months and now it's 14. The MAID wait list is like 6 weeks. Get me out of this fucking country man!!!!!!!

@scootykins Already have

become unemployable

@ACTGaudio It's not April Fools yet

I'm done making music. No more music

Going for a run all hopped up on Obolon and shushki

And here comes a whole month of rain

Anyone else dealing with Sonnet always telling them to get some rest or is that just me and should I be worried?

Trust me you do not want the Kavorka

Uh oh but probably in a good way