Mkulima Mdogo™️

At the end of the day we thank the almighty and give it a rest we try again tomorrow. PEACE.✌🏽

@_fels1 Ni kama hapa cheque has not reflected, bwana someone should call Oburu Kanga or that woman from Homa Bay to do something on the balance IMMEDIATELY or else we the outsiders will eat beans which we didn't put on fire. Acha tupulize moto beans iive we eat. Kiawa!

The ODM faction led by Atandi, Wanga, and Kanyuma must first understand that they are negotiating from a point of weakness and inferiority. The Babu-Sifuna side went with the people. FACT! That’s why Ruto has been helping them buy crowds to attend their dull rallies. Even to have the SGM last week, they had to blackmail the president to sponsor it. Very soon we’ll start spilling beans here…… The entitlement, conditions, and asinine demands must stop. Chesa!

He is RISEN. Mwangi Kiunjuri amefufuka.

@NjeriBt The village boy conned the smart girl. What a time to live mayeee 😂😂

I invited Havi down to Kilifi. Got him some Italian clients. Rich, filthy rich. The deal was 10% for me.. agreed. They were my pals. I reccomended him. Set up the meetings..lunches etc. Havi gets the deal. Whilst here, he spews some village bullshit and I insult him. When he was paid, he claimed a fridge he bought was enough..

@mbiti_mwondi It has come home to roast.😂😂😂😂

Bullies seeking validation 😂😂

@edgarwabwire_ Uko na loyaa? 😂😂

Hi Octopizzo, I know you may have forgotten who I am, but I will speak candidly about your character which, quite evidently, has not changed. For the record, I am no longer the small boy you could intimidate the way you used to. I will stand my ground if provoked. I can see you’re still consistent with a character that is filthy from miles away. That kind of consistency is not admirable; it is deeply concerning, and potentially dangerous should you ever wield even a modicum of power. Like I said, patterns don’t lie, and a tree does not fall far from the trunk. The people of Kibera do not say you were not warned. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time patterns are not coincidental; they are revealing, and ignoring them does not alter their inevitable outcome.

@georgediano Without the fideosssss evidence this is not helping walala hoi 😂😂

An old mzungu man from Australia woke up one day and chose chaos. The guy lands in Kenya as a missionary, sets up base in Kisii, and as expected, the ministry starts attracting serious congregation turnout especially the very committed women of Faith. Now this is where things go completely off-script. Instead of normal crusades and Sunday sermons, this man was running what can only be described as a private VIP healing ministry inside his Airbnb. Appointments were one on one,, no choir, no church elders, just intensive personal prayers. But kumbe there was a strategy behind the madness! To access the women's wandawea easier, the mzungu was promising them international church missions abroad in the name of going to spread the gospel in Europe. In Kisii, where escaping poverty is the real miracle everyone is praying for, some women said “Lord, use me!” Before they knew it, they were on missionary position shouting God's name in vain. Women were attending special sessions thinking they’re securing visas, yet the only thing being processed is confusion and regret. But the man wasn’t just healing our women, he had turned the whole thing into a production studio. Every session was being recorded like it’s a documentary. Imagine your wife telling you that she can't give you a blowjob because it's unholy only for you to see her in full HD enjoying another man's instruments of power. Yesterday, as believers were busy preparing for Sabbath, the videos leaked pale telegram which was later shared on WhatsApp. The Church WhatsApp groups froze, church elders developed instant high blood pressure, and men everywhere started re-evaluating both their Mareej & life choices. The mzungu has since disappeared into thin air. Kisii residents have launched a manhunt, and let’s just say, if they catch him, he’ll experience a very different kind of deliverance service bcoz walimwengu wakona hasira si mchezo, especially wale waligongewa. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@_fels1 The ONLY MP going to parliament next year UNOPPOSED, TUTAM.

My MP is currently 88. If he can bid the highest and get the ODM certificate for 2027,the likes of Ochietha Kanyuma want him to be alone on the ballot with no competitor in the name of zoning. Then he legislates until he is 94. He is currently battling dementia and acute senility

Gachagua will be ARESTED for his remarks today. DCI kazi kwenu.

@MwalimuBri33882 Enda uliza wanafunzi hiyo. I don't know wewe ni mwalimu wa wanafunzi ama unafunza ujinga, toka hapa blurrrry shenzi.

@MwebiJr Are you really normal?

Akili ikiwa kwa kichwa inaeza kusaidia sana otherwise sai naona unafikiria na matacore.

Easter Weekend was chill.

We also have so many things to remind you people it's only we choose to maintain our cool. One day, just one day. We will remind y'all about AUGUST 2024. TERM NI MOJA shenzi sana.

😂😂😂😂

@WaruiJohn2 Yes but kila mtu kivyake tutakutana sherehe TU!😂😂

Do you have a good relationship with your cousins or do you just live your own life?

@Kenyans Instead of threats let DCI take in Gachagua.

NEWS JUST IN: DCI Threatens Action Against Gachagua in New Twist​​ read.kenyans.co.ke/tMwfu

Am trying to read his tweet where he has said it has value NOW but there is none. I can see he tweeted "Happy Sabbath from Kisumu Dala." Where in that statement does he say it has value?

It's been like 1 year since I had one bana. Acha we consult wazee.

Wacha bwana get married 😂😂

We’re not here for long, none of us are. So make sure you live your life to the fullest. Because there’s only one thing that’s 100% guaranteed, and you know what it is. It’s always there… and the longer you live, the closer you get to it.

@georgediano Yayeeee, you are increasing pressure for men bwana. The pressure crease or creases class?

Women often have a side guy who supplies them with high voltage electricity for free. They even spend their own money to ensure he’s available for the mission. She experiments all the wild things with him & she always thinks of him when you're on top of her. Chesaa!!