NAGI 👑

That 8 year old chess prodigy is now a 2000+ rated Elementary National champion!

One of my students was trying to spite me. He said (not to my face though) that my nose looks like a pencil 😂😂 As I hear am, I first burst laugh 🤣 Nigga got bad judgement 😂 If I had known he was referring to me when I first got the news, I would have corrected him sharp.

@_festuz @fiegenic Likee😂😂

@NAGI4Life @fiegenic 100% success rate😂 😭🙏

Our Consultant told us a story of a child who had a foreign body in the airway and Surgery was indicated. The child’s mother was crashing out on the child. A few seconds later: Mother: eeeeeetaawai!👋(on her child’s back) Foreign body flew out by force😂🙌 Mothers in Surgery!😂 PS: Don’t try this at home😄🙏

@d_jeune_ @fiegenic 😂😂

@NAGI4Life @fiegenic For as long as he lives...even air go dey scare am

@Thazhigilla_ The twist was crazy😅 Never saw that coming. Last last, wetin people say fit no be the whole truth.

I knew a guy exactly like this in my 200L 2nd Semester. He lived in the self-con adjacent my compound off campus, and from Monday to Sunday, it was an endless conveyor belt of absolute top-tier women walking into his room. Sometimes they came at 7 AM and sometimes they came in the evening. Our entire street reached the conclusion that this boy was either using juju or doing male hook-up because no amount of money will make you bring those kind of women everyday without going poor! We held a boys’ meeting under the mango tree in front of my compound. Serious analysis, diagrams were drawn, theories were proposed. Because the sheer volume of top-tier women entering and leaving that small room was simply defying the laws of engineering, physics, biology, and every known principle of “how boys in 300 Level are supposed to move.” The matter got infinitely worse the day I saw my own area crush stepping into his house. I violently needed to know what was going on. One day, my roommate and I finally walked up to his door, using the classic Nigerian excuse of asking if his phase had NEPA light so we could see things in 8k. When he opened the door halfway. We braced ourselves for impact. But, we were instantly hit by a thick cloud of Got2b glue, smell of burnt edge control and hot pressing iron. This our supposed BABA for the GIRLS was standing there in a salon apron, holding a hot comb, and violently melting a 36-inch bone-straight frontal into my crush's scalp. Baba was just a wig installer💀

@merkelthinks The boxer M. Ali wrote a poem on friends. A true friend is worth more than a mountain of gold. She isn't a true friend I must say.

I got to my friend’s place late because I was doing someone else’s hair. Tell me why she said she’d rather throw away the bracelet and pizza she bought for me than give them to me. She actually threw them in the bin. Mind you, I was standing right there 😭

@Invaluablemoi Madddtt

Lawyer used ChatGpt to draft a brief and filed it in Court. Opposing Counsel was trying to draft an answer to it and realized his citations and cases were fake😂😂 Turned out ChatGpt fabricated fake cases for him and he didn't do his due diligence on the result. Court sanctioned him $5k and also sanctioned the law firm he works and he was asked to write Apology letters to the Judges he attributed to each fake case.

@themaninileife You really get mind seh😂😂

I don’t even know if my mum will remember this one. One day she sent me to go and buy fuel. I carried my full chest and went, only to get there and realize I didn’t carry keg. I jejely came back home to pick it. That was how she called me aside and gave me small “family meeting.” Talk about “So you went there without keg? I said you don’t use to think. You should have used your mouth to carry the fuel.” I said okay ma and went back with the keg like a responsible citizen. Fast forward small. We went to the market one day to buy groundnut oil. Madam forgot her container. And to make matters worse, her usual seller didn’t have a spare. She started lamenting. That was when the ancestral spirit that wanted me to cry whispered boldness into me. I said, “Mummy, you can use your mouth to carry the oil na.” What happened after that statement is not for public broadcast. I can’t even remember how I got home. Let’s just say “it is well” African parents are bullies 😂

@tweetbywinter Me giving him the last peel to play with like a pro😂 Parents should be able to teach their children personal boundaries. If the pikin come chop banana wey im belle come dey pain am, na still the guy see go hold.

That reminds me of the time I was eating a banana in the airport and this cute toddler came over to me. I was polite but then he put out his hand and said banana. So I start lookin around for his mom. she looks up and says "it's ok! He can have some🤣 " Imfao ma'm no he cannot

@sammie_boi20 As how now🙂

Lecturer: I added 30 marks for everybody after marking the script Me with total score f 32

@Coach_Ehis For her mind you don be tech bro and a data center.

My neighbour asked me to hotspot her yesterday, I immediately did as I thought she just needed to buy data as she used to normally say. After about 5mins I received a message from MTN, "hello your data usage for...... Is now 3000mb (3GB)" as how na 😲😲😲😲 I asked her straight up, "what are you doing exactly with my hotspot?" This lady has downloaded a full movie series. I just mute 🤐 What would you have done if you were in my shoes??

When Kingsley, the dullest guy in my sec school bought his 2nd car and did 200k giveaway on our whatsapp group This guy directly tagged me: "Shebi you used to cover your work during exams." Meanwhile I was Ex-Headboy and a Med student😹 Life has no rules!

@flowzki Your guy go just weak first. He really loved the lady by it seems she is an addiction.

so my guy planted drugs in his girls car & planned with police to arrest her then tell her to make a call & they'll arrest him too then he'll shockingly propose to her.. when they caught her, she said she wanted to call her boyfriend first.. she called another guy 😂💀

@EmekaIkoro_ @_99George If she is okay with that, I don't have any problem but I hope all the children understand the depth of sacrifice she is making for this to be possible. I sincerely hope they repay this great benevolence in the best way they possibly can. God bless her indeed.

@_99George My aunt is taking care of all his siblings' kids. Like 20 kids in the University. When I learnt this, I felt like sending her money for upkeep.

My aunt wey dey UK tear everybody blocking for WhatsApp 😂😂😭😭 even people wey never bill am before all of us collect blocking 😂 I don’t blame her sha , dem wan use billing comot cloth for her neck

I just heard that a family friend is in police station and with the look of things it’s either d3ath by hanging or life imprisonment, what did he do??? He went where fuel and there was a long queue then suddenly someone came to his front he got angry he got angry something led to another he just pushed the boy that’s how the boy died immediately!!!!! You guys know the worst part??? The boy he pushed is the only child and he’s getting married in the next 3 months, we heard the man is hypertensive but his family are not dropping the case because how can their only child just go like that???? They have money tooo and they want to make sure he rots in jail or d3ath by hanging dem no greee ooo Bruhhhhh some people are walking dead

Back in university. I decided to run for departmental president. All the interested students publicly declared their intentions and we were told we could buy the nomination form and start campaigning right away. I followed every official step. But the lecture in charge of selling form kept giving me ridiculous excuse whenever I approached him. Later I found out he had already sold forms to two other contestants people from a particular local government area in the state. Apparently, where you came from mattered more than anything else. Even so, I refused to give up. I kept campaigning hard with the little support I had. Then a day before the election I'd had enough. I went into the departmental group chat and calmly explained everything that had happened how I'd been denied the form despite following protocols, how others had already gotten theirs and the excuses I'd been given. The next day election day things exploded. My entire department blocked the faculty entrance in protest. Student from other department quickly joined in solidarity. The demonstration grew so loud that the VC had to step in personally. In the end they produced the form, I paid for it, got on the ballot and against all odd and I won the election. Since then I became the most popular presido

my brother's friend was starting to apply for colleges. and one of the colleges he applied to required a 3 page essay explaining what daring meant to them. so being the clever person he was on the each page he wrote 1 word with huge font, “THIS IS DARING” And he later got accepted.

@256Rootyherman Luckily as howwww

“We saw a snake in your room and luckily, it disappeared “

@AtuanyaKene My elder sister pulled my ears during one of our fights. I stopped messing with her after that event. My ears were so sore I was afraid I would go deaf at any further experience. Don't play with elder sisters😂😂

@NAGI4Life 😂😂😂

My sister just randomly reminded me the day my 14yo brother tried to be stubborn with me. I tried to flog him and he seized the cane and broke it. To save face and not be disgraced, I jumped onto the sofa and flew at him like it was WWE. We both landed on the floor. My body hurt for a week… but he respected me after that. A win is a win.