𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬

if you see a Tiktok about a bush @ashnikko will have already commented on it

skunks are so cute but it’s a shame they spew out molten piss diarrhea

2nd time playing your new game and you forget the controls but the tutorials are gone

big ass fuckin hands piss me off so bad bro put that fucking flipper away Gumby

decades ago we had delicious, witty banter back and forth each time you met a person, and now it’s like hey girl what your name haha. uh ummm can I like get your number? okay thanks bye

when her celebrity crush is the complete opposite of what you look like

can we stop edging the fucking World War already my fucking god just do it

the absurdity of just one of the five monkeys falling off the bed, and the exponential ignorance of the others while they are violently picked off one by one

why am I here instead of a country where my skin colour is valued 💔

adding “dawg” to the end of my sentence to cancel out the profundity of my thought

not one fucking good book in here

Top 3 worst things of all time is when you say you did something, and someone who wasn’t there says matter-of-factly you didn’t like OH you’re right I totally forgot I just lied for no reason my bad fuck your family

who up shploingin they doingdoing

women got so much to deal with I just ignore them so they don’t have to get all anxious trying to talk to my handsome face yk

tell aviv?? we never even gonna be on speaking terms girl shut up

my mom at a red light vs merging with traffic on the highway

isn’t this tha boobs and butts store errbody always shopping at la viande roge

I like pulling the slutty little tampon out of those pump bottles when they dry

racial preferences is bad enough but having races you AVOID bro?? let me know how hot hell is

Sneako punched in the face, Clavicle overdosing, JohnnySomali getting prison time— Zeus, blow Jack Doherty’s head off with a shotgun and my life is yours

too many ladies noticed my PERFECT hair day yesterday, someone had to have a crush on me