Regular Human Bartender

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com

I JUST VOTED FOR QUEEN OF THE FAME GAMES! VOTE NOW queenofthefamegames.votenow.tv

My cold brew coffee was so strong today, I think it triggered a hot flash. #perimenopause

Yes!!!!

What? You don’t like this economy?! But it’s RECORD BREAKING PROFITS for all your beloved corporations!!!!!! Aren’t you happy!?! CAPITALISM BABY!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Isn’t this fun?!? Aren’t you doing great?!??

Last year, UPS made $13 billion — that’s billion, with a B — in profits. Yes. The company can more than afford the wages and benefits workers are rightly demanding. UPS should come back to the table and negotiate a fair deal with the Teamsters NOW.

A funny, #perimenopausal dream; I dreamt that I got my period again, and I had a loving partner who bought me gifts, a plant and some pie, to make me feel better and he congratulated me on still being fertile. I woke up, no period, no partner. #leSigh

@Kevin_Martinez can I bartend the all-star game? Gin Griffey Junipers for everyone!

@Kevin_Martinez I just realized I have enough miles to fly to seattle for the all star festivities. Any chance you need a celebrity bartender?

Happy Canada Day to all my imaginary Canadian Ex-Boyfriends!

My people grew up poor. They had to spend their lives catering to rich people. They worked hard to send their off spring to school to get an education…so that they could get paid better to…cater to even richer people? #americandream

Wordle 732 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 well that was bound to happen. Guess I have to change my opening word now.

@Latitude29_NOLA @UrbanSouthBeer We love y’all soooooooo much!

Thank you @NYCBaby for inviting us to Bandit's quinceañera @UrbanSouthBeer today! We love you both and also your new addition, plus thanks for raising $$$ for trampledroserescue.com

@NOLAnews Where are all these two bedroom apartments for less that $1200 a month?

An average New Orleans renter can't afford an average New Orleans apartment, report says nola.com/news/politics/…

@TheBiancaDelRio thank you for knowing that a Shirley Temple Black is the proper name for an alcoholic Shirley Temple, NOT a Dirty Shirley. Kids these day have no respect for married women!

Hey NYC! I have some smoke tips from my time in Seattle; break out your masks again. Double up! Keep your windows closed. Create a makeshift air purifier by getting a air con filter and bungee it to a box fan. Isn’t climate change fun?! Don’t you wish someone did something!?!

This front page! The logo! The font! I love it!!!!

@vincentgilroy @TipsyBartender @OzBartenderMag @TitosVodka @BartenuraBlue Love it!!! What a great idea!

@TipsyBartender @OzBartenderMag @NYCBaby @TitosVodka @BartenuraBlue Did any other bar have this many #creditcard s left behind this weekend and will the be turning them guitar picks like we do ?? #StPatrickDay #stpaddysday #StPatricksDay2023

I like calling my Produce order in at night so I don’t have to talk to anybody, but I gotta tell you when I forget and have to call in the morning…It’s really nice when they say “thank you, ma baby”. #nolalife #whereyat #mababy

I still got it, babes! Whoo hoo!