Nartalop

Willing to send monthly edible arrangements to people who will promote my twitter account or just like my tweets

I was having a great day until I remembered @panerabread discontinued their French toast bagel

I wish I could eat a bagel, regurgitate it and eat it again infinity times.

Just a reminder @panerabread sucks for discontinuing the French toast bagel. Y’all suck :/

Fancy dinner :) in the city ! Who do you think ate the most?

@halerina1 I hope they reported on all my accomplishments

@jboogatron im big time

Do chicks actually think they’re big time for lowercasing the first word of a text? I don’t get it

@halerina1 Or go rogue and listen to liked

@halerina1 Trying to be cool girl

@jboogatron Pitbull

Who is objectively the coolest person on the planet? Is it Drake? Feel like it’s Drake but I’m not a Drake guy. Could also be a soccer dude like Ronaldo

@HESSB96 I thought the same thing

@Natnorthdrop Bottom left!

If I had a penny for every time my Raggedy dog was mistaken for a stray I wouldn’t be eating cheezits for dinner tonight

@ThaCarder_III You should read the chronicles of Narnia

@Natnorthdrop I’ve been reading more books!

My twitter engagement has been down. What have y’all be doing, other than ignoring my tweets!

@jboogatron This got lots of likes! Proud

BREAKING: After being called a sub-par game manager in exit interview, disgruntled Teddy Bridgewater has set fire to empower field. Per sources, Russell Wilson is currently in fire fighter uniform battling the inferno

@superbadtweets0 Just trying to help you make frozen lemonade on this hot day 😘

@superbadtweets0 @BigBouchyTheory It’s a winter tree

@BigBouchyTheory @mattreevesLA $50

@BigBouchyTheory @mattreevesLA Would you pay me to beat the shit out of you?

Was feeling a little too good about myself today so I had to make a financially irresponsible decision to bring me back to self loathing state

@jboogatron @denverlacrosse

To the entire @denverlacrosse Women’s team. I apologize for mid-game heat. At the same time, you’re all very attractive. You guys wanna hang?