Necromancy Black retweetledi
Here’s the email to employees:
Team,
Hope everyone’s doing well and enjoying the productivity enhancements from our AI tooling initiative.
Unfortunately, Finance has asked me to clarify a small issue.
It appears someone, and by “someone” I mean apparently all of you simultaneously, managed to spend $500,000,000 on @claudeai usage in a single month.
For context:
•NASA landed on the moon for less.
•We are now the proud owner of approximately 14% of Anthropic.
•Claude personally sent us a thank-you fruit basket.
•Our CFO has entered a fugue state and only communicates through Slack emojis.
•The electricity usage from your prompts briefly dimmed parts of Northern Virginia.
While we appreciate innovation, there are concerns that:
•“Can you make this email sound slightly warmer?” did not require 11,400 generations.
•Asking Claude to “rewrite this in the style of Succession, Hemingway, and Tony Soprano combined” may have been excessive.
•One employee appears to have used Claude to generate “a quick list of lunch options” that somehow consumed the GDP of a small island nation.
Going forward, please observe the following guidelines:
1Do not upload the entire internet into Claude “for context.”
2If your prompt begins with “simulate every possible outcome,” reconsider.
3Claude should not be used to:
◦settle fantasy football disputes,
◦write your wedding vows 97 times,
◦generate revenge edits of your ex’s LinkedIn bio,
◦or ask “what if Rome had WiFi?”
Most importantly:
If you see the message:
“This request may require additional datacenter construction”
…please stop immediately and contact IT.
Thank you all for your cooperation during this challenging yet technologically groundbreaking time.
Warm regards,
Management
P.S. Whoever prompted:
“Generate every possible PR angle for every company founded since 1983”
…we just want to talk.
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