Nicolas Payne-Baader

Seed a Big Green Egg once

Transition season is a myth

@YourSSE Hey why can't I delete an online account when you haven't supplied my gas and electricity for 3 years? Why make it so hard?

Football might be the only thing coming home on Sunday

@dylanviner I used to go to a coffee shop that did a double flat white (2 flat whites, one large cup) had one once and physically flew in the air all the way home

Just witnessed a man order a latte with 5 shots of espresso. Balzac levels of caffeination. Impressed and a little terrified.

Standing next to two people in a lift, one looking a bit worse for wear “You feeling okay mate” “Oh, yeah, just had a really intense gong bath, third one this week” January energy is wild

The Crown season 12 is gonna be lit theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/j…

“The safe word is prorogue”

@MoyaCrockett If you think a sweater might have moths in it stick it in the freezer for 48 hours and it’ll kill the larvae, for a less practical alternative swap out all your wardrobes for massive freezers

@MarinaOLoughlin Thought it was telling of his quality levels that when Russel Hume had their meat recalled Weatherspoons and JO’s restaurants were the two biggest chains effected

The fact that there is only one football team in Derby is surely the world’s greatest missed opportunity

@WilliamHill @paddypower what we saying boys?

@NicolasBaader #YourOdds are 16/1 - wh.bet/2Bo2vFK

@WilliamHill Batshuayi to score 10 goals for Crystal Palace by the end of the season #YourOdds

@WilliamHill What about premier league only? Come on 16/1 only Suarez, Cisse and Sturridge have done 10 after a January transfer in the prem era

@Flora_Anderson After spending the last 45 minutes of my work day watching these videos and shouting “I’m watching the zeitgeist leave me alone” when anyone asks what I’m doing. I can confirm these videos are almost identical. Remarkable

@eppsphilomena Tried this and got some pretty weird looks

So amazing to run into a fan of my smash hit directorial debut “Balloons Over Bagan” #stayhumble ift.tt/2N4Z8e7

“Tell Dan I said hi” ift.tt/2PC8rk4

@AndyBarnham Definitely been both and from you I could always use a hug mate

“And THAT is what they mean by strawberry cornetto” ift.tt/2OUtFIX