NinjaNerd007

My friend just called me cuz a bat got in his house and he's freaking out. I'm getting a play by play of this entire Battle of the Bat. I might die laughing...

Why is it that every time something has gone wrong and I need to log into my computer quickly that’s the moment it chooses to be a bitch and either lag like hell or need to update. What’s the word for the universe fucking with us like that?

Feeling that Sims itch... time to Sims deep dive for about 36 hours! See yall on monday!

Nothing inspires so much rage in me as unsolicited texts from political spam bots and roofing companies. I know that responding with the STOP option it just confirms that the number is active, so I don’t. But GOD DAMNIT I wish I could give them a piece of my mind.

I’m still voting for Biden. You?

Hey, that picture of Trump with his fist up? That's not a cool picture. That's a picture of a guy who's willing to get his secret service agents shot for a photo op.

Dear men on dating apps… please learn how to take a decent photo of yourself… or ask someone to take a decent photo for you. It’s really not that hard. Sincerely, All women everywhere

Trump is a pedophile. Trump is a pedophile. Trump is a pedophile. Trump is a pedophile. Trump is a pedophile. Trump is a pedophile.

The rampant misinformation on STIs is doing so much harm.

BREAKING: CNN just released their fact check of Donald Trump throughout the debate. It turns out Donald Trump lied on just about every answer. Retweet so all Americans see this vital fact check on Trump’s BS.

Juggling seen from a different perspective..

this was so wholesome and funny 😂🥹

This video of Kathleen Ledecky balancing chocolate milk on her head while swimming is more impressive to me than her seven Olympic gold medals

This is possibly the funniest SNL skit ever made, lol

@KillerMartinis My mom passed while waiting for an organ donation, so I thank you for your willingness to donate. 💙

No funeral. No burial. Anything that could reasonably be harvested will be and my skeleton is useful as a case study in spinal anatomy. What you want to do is blast you some early 80s punk and raise a glass. Ain’t need travel. -L

I was complimented for how effective I am running meetings at work: keeping ppl on task & moving us forward while engaging each participant & fielding unexpected questions, and all I could think was “bro this is easy, no one’s even trying to fuck a dragon”

@notgwendalupe From heartwarming to heroic, here are some of the most groundbreaking LGBT+ moments in television history!

Gonna watch this 34 times. 😂😂