Paul Kelly

Mo Salah on our street 🤣

My goal before the end of this month is to fix my camera... Now that's something to focus on. #MondayMirth

@ianandrewrimmer Nice one ~ pointing out the positives u legend hehe 😜! 😃

@Nobbyfolk Last minute killer. It least the victory in the first derby at their new stadium will forever be in the history books. Not unless they build another stadium!

#LFC Salah hat- trick Loading ████████████ 45% #Everton v #Liverpool ⚽️

@empireofthekop Salah hat-trick today !

Morning, Reds 👋it's not just any matchday - IT'S DERBY DAY! Liverpool haven't had much joy away to Everton in recent years, but will their first visit to the Hill Dickinson Stadium be a memorable one? As ever, let us know your predictions in the replies! 👇

I hear they are thinking about using a bio diesel made from herbs to run our trains...yes… Here's hoping they will run on Thyme now. 🚆 #SideSplittingSunday

They say you only only use 10% of your brain. What about the other 30%? #SillySaturday

I was once invited to a Bacardi and captain Morgan's party. It was a bit of a rum do. #BADjokeFriday

All those years ago when I was a little boy, I used to think that urine was the opposite of you're out. #BadjokeThursday

I thought I had a great invention when I made the cold air balloon. But it didn't really take off.. #wednesdaywit

There’s no goals in this Liverpool team !!

▒▓██►｡•*¨*• Good Luck Lads ⚽️#LFC all the way!!

I've been worried that someone would steal my potato crop, so I've had it chipped.. #TuesdayTitters

How do you organise a party in space? You Planet #MondayMirth

I don't believe in reincarnation, mind you I thought the same thing when I was a Tortoise. #SideSplittingSunday

Does anybody still sing happy birthday when washing their hands? Just asking for my unpolitically correct mate Boris #SillySaturday

Some days I can only manage half a Pig Roast for my Dinner. Other days I like to go the Whole Hog. #BadJokeFriday

Went to an Abba themed pub, the toilets were amazing. What a loo! #BadJokeThursday

Breaking... A nine year old girl has disappeared after using moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger... #wednesdaywit

I had a compulsion to purchase sailing boats.. So the doctor gave me some antibuyachtics... #TuesdayTitters

The weather today reminds me of my wife’s ass.. very windy! #MondayMirth