Fake Bill Costello

Never forget

It is with a heavy heart we announce the death of @NotBillCostello. His tiny little rocket – Small But Sweet – exploded while maneuvering for re-entry. We can only assume it was human error. Yes, @NotBillCostello failed himself. #fail #YOLO #FOMO #RageTexting #NooneEverReallyDies

Houston, we have a problem. #space #OhNo #outerspace #BillinSpace #Apollo13 #YOLO #FOMO #ImAPrettyPrettyPrincess

One final space selfie before I come home. Climbing back into the Short But Sweet to do a few final orbits before landing. Everything is perfect, I’m sure nothing is going to go wrong. #FOMO #YOLO #YEET #SpaceSelfie #alone #thousandaireInSpace #thisis50 #SpaceBill #NERD

Floating here in outer space not sure if I ever wanna come back. Maybe I’ll stay up here forever. Alone. I think the only thing I would need is a Space Bar. Should have put vodka in Short But Sweet. #nodrinksinouterspace #yolo #fomo #spacebar #thisis50

Thinking of just floating away for all time... #billinspace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #thisis50 #alone #spacecowboys

Hatch open and @NotBillCostellow has left the Short But Sweet for his first spacewalk. "I am so alone. I am so utterly alone." #Spacewalk #BillinSpace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #Thisis50 #Beetlejuice

The Short But Sweet has reached target altitude and successfully entered a stable orbit. #BillinSpace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #Thisis50

Successful separation of main engine and second stage ignition of the shuttle Short But Sweet. #BillinSpace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #Thisis50

MECO of the S.B.C. It's 10pm. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? Awaiting separation. #BillinSpace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #Thisis50

Blast off! We have lift off of the first thousandaire private rocket ship the "S.B.C. It's 10pm, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?" #BillinSpace #YOLO #FOMO #NERD #Thisis50

I am proud to announce I will be the first citizen thousandaire in space. We blast off today at noon. #yolo #fomo #thisis50 #NERD

I want to get black out drunk in Roku City

Today’s gospel was about the beheading of John the baptizer. Here’s hoping @parker_costello never meets a king willing to fulfill any wish.

Today I’m 50 and one day old. I do not recognize the man in the mirror. #thisis50 #downhill

I’m 50 years old today and all I want is for @redlobster to follow me. #thisis50

You all remember a movie called Falling Down?

I just ate the Captain’s Feast at Red Lobster and I can already feel incontinence coming on. #thisis50 #bowelcontrol

But the cheddar biscuits are great.

I have a sudden urge to watch the weather channel, but the staff at Red Lobster refuse to change the channel from a sportsball game that i can’t have an opinion about. #thisis50