NotSoFatDad 🍽

@DschlopesIsBack I think you meant “in your DVD player”.

The year is 2002. You just woke up at 3:00am. This is probably on your TV screen.

@ImMeme0 @Rossskyy2 $20 says this guy is grooming kids on Roblox.

BREAKING: Male nurse says ICE agents “deserve” to be shot in the back of the head. X, do your thing. Anyone calling for execution-style violence against law enforcement has no place in healthcare.

@ClownWorld Homeboy got the carpal from smackin that azz.

Anyone who reads this, ignore these fake customer service replies. They’re just scammers.

@UPS is a joke. 3rd day in a row stuck at home waiting for a signature package that they didn’t bother to deliver. Rude overseas phone support is a joke. They just read the same tracking site I can access without an hour on hold. I don’t accept your apology for my trouble Kumar.

@shirtsthtgohard How do you call yourself a grown-up and still get life advice from musicians?

@Arden_2210 So you’re telling me 99.9% are retarded?

Only 0.1 % can solve this

@ClownWorld She was clearly trying to comply 👀

She found out

@Erikr250 I mean you don’t need a paternity test to know that shit is AI. Are you really trying to use fake videos to create even more racial tension than we already have?

They are not my Babies 👶 where is my son! A white woman gave birth to Black babies, and her husband refused to accept them, shocked and denying paternity. The situation sparked tension, questions, and a desperate need for truth and understanding. What can you do in this situation?

@julianfeeld Do you have to order your shoes custom, or do they sell clown shoes on like Amazon?

This man murdered two people and is now posing with his beloved with a rifle. America doesn’t just fail to punish evil, it actively celebrates it. Total dissociative state

Anyone looked into how to get your money back out of @Aureal_One before these scammers roll up the doors and sneak away into the night? No updates since September and a product that was supposed to go live in Q4.

@PetesQtrLifeCrs @zerohedge Neither does fantasy football, but people make a living off of that too.

@zerohedge Is it possible to oversell something that has zero value?

Bitcoin most oversold in over 2 years

@pmullr @shitposterchild The resemblance is uncanny.

@NotSoFatDaddy @shitposterchild He's doing alright

Where is @shitposterchild when we need him the most?! I hope the cosmos is treating well old friend. #FF Funface forever.

@stockplaymaker1 @Bobchain_Crypto Every crypto purchase I’ve ever made.

WHEN YOU BOUGHT THE TOP

All of the above please.

@WittyCrypt0 Overrated shithole.

Enjoy your call to prayers and sharia law NYC

@mjfree @winmewn I’ll take “Shit That Didn’t Happen” for one thousand Ken.

My 10 year-old daughter asked: "Dad, are we going to get shot if we go to the march?" THIS is exactly what Donald Trump wants our innocent kids to fear. We refuse to be scared. WE WILL SEE YOU THERE!!!!! #NoKingsDayOct18th

@derek_mafs @mjfree My semen and I had a similarly eloquent fake conversation.

Last night, my two-year-old son approached me, his eyes brimming with tears. “Father,” he began, his voice trembling yet articulate, “I am deeply troubled. I wish to attend the No Kings Rally to stand in solidarity with my fellow Americans, united against tyranny. Yet, I harbor grave concerns. What if the mob discerns my political inclinations? I fear they might resort to violence to chastise me for my beliefs.” His words, so improbably eloquent, pierced my heart. I knelt beside him, tears welling in my own eyes as I witnessed his precocious patriotism wrestling with dread. We wept together, not out of weakness, but from the weight of a nation’s fractured soul. I pulled him close, his small frame shaking, and whispered, “Son, do not let fear bind you. This is America—land of the free, where courage must prevail. We will not cower before the specter of radical extremism from the left, nor any who wield violence to silence dissent.” His gaze, wise beyond his years, met mine. “But Father,” he said, “the vitriol of the masses could imperil us.” I steadied my voice. “Let them rage. We stand for liberty, unyielding, and we will not bend the knee to those who would crush our spirit.” In that moment, our shared resolve hardened. My son, a toddler with the heart of a statesman, nodded solemnly. Together, we vowed to face the rally, not with fear, but with the unbreakable conviction that America’s promise endures, even in the shadow of extremism.

@Alphafox78 Misspelled “less”.

Can you name anything more important than diversity?