ODOT Roads

OKCPS will close for it being too cold outside, but not because our roads can't handle the extra traffic. Where are their priorities?

We really should do something about rush hour traffic on Broadway Extension. Nah!

If someone causes you to slowdown momentarily, the way to make up that time is to pull in front of them, stop, and give a dirty look.

All roads closed unless you work for a television station.

Governor Henry just announced that it is a capital offense to go out on the roads today. Officers have been instructed to shoot.

January is almost over and state tax revenues are down, so you know what that means. OHP quotas!

Seeing a police car in your rearview mirror turns any driving experience into a driving pop quiz.

We give up! You guys are on your own for this snow storm.

You thought the budget shortfall was bad last week? Wait until you see what it cost to have crews working 24 hours on Xmas.

DYK? ODOT maintains 110 salt sheds and more than 500 trucks...but we only plan on using about 10 of them.

To the idiots driving with their headlights turned off: F*CK YOU!

The new shift of "salt crews" are snow monsters instructed to eat your vehicle if you get out on the roads. We warned you.

If it snows tonight, stay in your house unless you have a toboggan. Same goes for if it rains. Or if it's clear. Just stay home.

We apologize for traffic flowing so smoothly this week. Traffic crews wanted the week off for xmas. Next year we'll hire heathens.

People who hesitate to get into the turn lane and force the person behind them to stop, belong in the fourth circle of Hell. #brushuponDante

The objective of the lane closings on Classen is to make the road such a labyrinth that, eventually, David Bowie will jump out at your car.

If you intend to vote no for #maps3, it is in your best interest to stay off the streets. @yesformaps voters should have no problems.

To combat parking shortages, the Broadway Extension has been converted into a parking lot.

@djhosu Ride a bicycle. The streets in Tulsa are freakishly narrow.

There's a 50% chance of snow tomorrow, and about a 0% chance that it does anything but melt on the roads. Feel free to panic anyway.