Asiwaju 💙❤️

One day, I'll give out billions to the poor and needy 🙏

@DivineOgu1 😂😂😂 No be your guy?

Still speechless, tbh

@Thazhigilla_ @Sinzubanks01 What a guy 😂

Many people might not believe this but... In 2023, I was packed into a police Danfo during a random raid in Jos, Plateau state. I was trekking for an all night session in school. They drove us to the station, seized our phones, and told everyone to sit on the bare floor behind the counter. The IPO in his faded uniform brought out rumpled sheets of paper and shouted ''Criminals remove your shoes make una write una statement for here'' I tried to look at the guys beside me who were sweating and writing things like "I am just walking and police catch me abeg I am a student." Another guy with a torn shirt was writing, "I swear to God I am not a cultist, I only went to buy indomie and egg, my mother is a widow." One particular guy was literally dropping tears on his paper, writing, "I don't smoke loud, I have CHM 101 test tomorrow morning, please have mercy in Jesus name." I knew my family did not have 50k for any emergency bail. So I sat on that cold floor, balanced the paper on my knee, and activated the ''Femi Falana'' in me (small HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MUDER was giving me confidence). I did not write a plea o. I wrote a chronological, legally terrifying timeline of my abduction. I used phrases like "unlawful detainment," "absence of probable cause," and "infringement of fundamental liberties." I made sure my handwriting was looking like a typed font🤲🏾 Thirty minutes later, the DPO walked in to inspect the night's harvest. He was biting the edge of a pure water sachet when he started reading the statements one by one, tossing them aside. Then he picked up my paper. He read the first paragraph, stopped, and looked at the crowd on the floor. He read it again. I was already preparing my mind for Cell One, the one with Mosquitoes that trained in Afghanistan. I was entirely convinced my grammar had angered him. The DPO looked at the IPO and said, "Who write this thing?" The IPO pointed at me. The DPO told me to stand up and follow him to his office. At that point, I wished I wrote my statement in Hausa😭 I entered the room, sweating like cold water. He sat down, dropped the paper on his desk, and said, "So, you sabi write English like this and you dey waka late night?" He opened his drawer and brought out a massive stack of dirty files. He complained that the station's secretary had been sick for three days and they had a massive backlog of official reports to send to the Area Commander. I did not enter the cell that night. I sat in a perfectly air-conditioned office from 11 PM to 4 AM, actively ghostwriting police reports, restructuring suspect confessions, and formatting legal petitions for the Nigerian Police Force. By 5 AM, the DPO gave me 15k cash for a job well done, bought me a plate of white rice, and ordered the patrol van to drive me safely to my hostel with full escorts. If you are currently smiling at this beautiful grass-to-grace story, I want you to know that you just read several heavy paragraphs of pure, undiluted fiction. I have never been arrested in my life. I am currently on my bed eating bread and egg. But like the original tweet said, proper articulation solves 75% of your problems. The remaining 25% is knowing how to lie fluently to farm engagement on this app. Happy Sunday.

Don’t live your life on chances, you might end up without one. Today’s Word broke it down with clarity: Divine guidance is the only guaranteed pathway to your next level, not guesswork, not assumptions, yes God’s direction. #SMHOS

Make my own club dey there dey mumu International break has killed us for like 3 seasons now and we still dey shine teeth

@Fikayofmars And rightly so because those refs know what they’re doing

If not for restraint, na so Xavi suppose dey handle refs in that his last season😭😭😭

Yes! As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

“Ronaldo owns the street” one of the biggest lie in football history

@italian_Spencer Very true

I’m a Port Harcourt boy and bias will never blind me from the truth. This is the truth. Cry from now till next year, it doesn’t change the facts he pointed out. All bark and no bite! Wike done bring our leg outside! Take or leave it.

🫂🇺🇾 Ronald Araujo: “I spoke to Phil Foden after the game, he told me it was all good… these are football things, things that happen on the pitch”. “I never wanted to do anything bad, I was going for the ball — he knows and it’s all good. I’m happy he has no problems”.

🚨🚨 Joan Laporta: "Every time the Negreira Case is about to be closed, people from Madrid present evidence that is not conclusive." "But the judge, to show that he has handled the process well, is forced to prolong the investigation six more months." "They try to build the lie that the referees favor Barça instead of Real Madrid, and with that they seek to discredit the most glorious moment in the club's history, which began with Rijkaard and continued with Guardiola." "There is a SOCIOLOGICAL MADRIDISM with influence capacity, and we do not want them to harm us."

We turn our gaze to Jesus, who reveals himself as King of Peace, even as war looms abounds him. He remains steadfast in meekness, while others are stirring up violence. He offers himself to embrace humanity, even as others raise swords and clubs. #GospelOfToday

You are very right sir

Omo I attended Salvation Ministries today, and Pastor no even do like say anything de happen online… So make una no de waste una time oh, online d*agons.

Them don watch am reach 100 times Until na prayer and worship, Dem go begin convulse

Save that your 500 naira offering and 10k tithe for one year then use it to buy cyber truck so peace can reign.

Planes that land safely don't make the news, only the crashes do. Same with Salvation Ministries & Pastor David Ibiyeomie. The church and himself build schools, donate to the less privileged, give massive scholarships (over 2 billion Naira personally), feed the needy, and support countless charitable works quietly. But the moment a Tesla Cybertruck shows up? Front page outrage. Media loves drama, not impact. Let's celebrate the good too. #SalvationMinistries #DavidIbiyeomie

Me as a pastor, I will drive a limo. I will show my brethren how to buy limos too. It will be a wealthy community, pushing the kingdom of God positively. Una go cry!!!!

"He's riding a donkey, his followers are trekking" I know someone said this that day

On my way to Church to pay my tithe and offering so my pastor can pull up in an Helicopter 💅🏽🤏🏽.