Oxpendant🪇

@Jideadeyemoh @CFCMods Its 6years more dude. He'll be 29 or so by then or even 31

@CFCMods We wait till his contract is ending and get him for free

Chelsea fans, how much would you sell Enzo Fernandez for.

@CFCMods 150M

@kallysev @alfkkifine A woman says something and it sounds normal, a man says it and you see how stupid the woman sounded.

Women who cook and clean aren’t special, women who are loyal and don’t cheat aren’t special, women who don’t falsely accuse men of rape aren’t special, women that take care and raise children aren’t special, stay at home moms aren’t special, women who dress modestly aren’t special, women who are gentle and care for the men they love aren’t special, this is the bare minimum and how women should be like.

men that don't r@pe women are not special. men that don't cheat are not special. men that treat women with equality are not special. men that cook in their homes and take care of the baby are not special. this is what a normal man should be like.

@NigeriaStories @Dutchess699031 @itz_taser

Sad 😳💔 Female students from a secondary school called Seat of Wisdom Aliade, in Benue State strip their fellow female student naked and s£xually harass her.

@Thazhigilla_ I AM IMPRESSEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

Many people might not believe this but... In 2023, I was packed into a police Danfo during a random raid in Jos, Plateau state. I was trekking for an all night session in school. They drove us to the station, seized our phones, and told everyone to sit on the bare floor behind the counter. The IPO in his faded uniform brought out rumpled sheets of paper and shouted ''Criminals remove your shoes make una write una statement for here'' I tried to look at the guys beside me who were sweating and writing things like "I am just walking and police catch me abeg I am a student." Another guy with a torn shirt was writing, "I swear to God I am not a cultist, I only went to buy indomie and egg, my mother is a widow." One particular guy was literally dropping tears on his paper, writing, "I don't smoke loud, I have CHM 101 test tomorrow morning, please have mercy in Jesus name." I knew my family did not have 50k for any emergency bail. So I sat on that cold floor, balanced the paper on my knee, and activated the ''Femi Falana'' in me (small HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MUDER was giving me confidence). I did not write a plea o. I wrote a chronological, legally terrifying timeline of my abduction. I used phrases like "unlawful detainment," "absence of probable cause," and "infringement of fundamental liberties." I made sure my handwriting was looking like a typed font🤲🏾 Thirty minutes later, the DPO walked in to inspect the night's harvest. He was biting the edge of a pure water sachet when he started reading the statements one by one, tossing them aside. Then he picked up my paper. He read the first paragraph, stopped, and looked at the crowd on the floor. He read it again. I was already preparing my mind for Cell One, the one with Mosquitoes that trained in Afghanistan. I was entirely convinced my grammar had angered him. The DPO looked at the IPO and said, "Who write this thing?" The IPO pointed at me. The DPO told me to stand up and follow him to his office. At that point, I wished I wrote my statement in Hausa😭 I entered the room, sweating like cold water. He sat down, dropped the paper on his desk, and said, "So, you sabi write English like this and you dey waka late night?" He opened his drawer and brought out a massive stack of dirty files. He complained that the station's secretary had been sick for three days and they had a massive backlog of official reports to send to the Area Commander. I did not enter the cell that night. I sat in a perfectly air-conditioned office from 11 PM to 4 AM, actively ghostwriting police reports, restructuring suspect confessions, and formatting legal petitions for the Nigerian Police Force. By 5 AM, the DPO gave me 15k cash for a job well done, bought me a plate of white rice, and ordered the patrol van to drive me safely to my hostel with full escorts. If you are currently smiling at this beautiful grass-to-grace story, I want you to know that you just read several heavy paragraphs of pure, undiluted fiction. I have never been arrested in my life. I am currently on my bed eating bread and egg. But like the original tweet said, proper articulation solves 75% of your problems. The remaining 25% is knowing how to lie fluently to farm engagement on this app. Happy Sunday.

@IfunanyaDelilah My celebrity crush for over 10years now.

KEHLANI is stunning😍 ✨

@Kemakillzzz Who even carries a Geepee tank around sef?

“On your mandate we shall stand” Coming from a Hand!cap is crazy!!! Stand na if dem born you well ozuor

@ShitpostGate Never heard of a nose job or a forehead job either

@ButikPlug Don't Wear Frame 1 and 3 in Port Harcourt if you're not an Exec or a D1. This is non-financial advice.

15k.

@normohdfendy @Jolomoco 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Jolomoco Just look closely for the team's name in the badge guys. It clearly wrote 'brighton & hove' & the other team is 'brighton & shove'

Was a disappointing loss for Brighton Women at home today. But a big 3 points for Brighton away with Kiko Seike scoring against her current club.

@Chizitere_xyz Ofcourse they'll not comment...it's against their "Standards"

The absolute biggest hypocrisy in modern dating is the body positivity movement. If a man has a strict preference for a woman's weight, something she can actually control with diet and exercise, he is publicly crucified, called insecure, and labeled superficial. But the exact same society will sit back and laugh while women brutally body-shame men on podcasts and timelines over their height or their hairline, things they have absolutely zero genetic control over. We didn't end body shaming; we just made it exclusively acceptable to use against men.

@nocontextmemes Tomorrow never comes

@itz_taser Ahhhh!!!!!!

I won’t watch this video alone. This woman used a streaming app to do all sorts of n@sty things to her son, she sucks his pen!s and treats him like an adult.

@1in350m @N3uron_ @lporiginalg Two things. 1. Whenever you leave the room, it becomes brighter. 2. If a bird had your Brain, it'll be flying backwards.

@N3uron_ @lporiginalg It's hilarious to me as a White American that blacks can't learn English, regardless where they're from. Transatlantic slave descendants are trying to sell "AAVE" (slave slurring/retardation) as a language but it's not as bad as "THINGS WEY WOMEN DEY TALK, YOU NOR GO" lmfao

They're calling it the most female tweet of all time.

this should be fun

@CFC_OBED Kaka.

Tell me one footballer you just love. I don’t wanna hear Messi, Neymar or Ronaldo😂 Tell me one random sick footballer you love.

@CFC_OBED Bastian Sweignsteiger.

@RichGunz @MensHumor 142 bookmarks🙌🏽🙌🏽

@MensHumor out of curiosity youtu.be/fCPN1Oslyw0?si…

Some men...(but seriously what's the name of that doc?)

@_Nsznn Drift.

Look at the speedometer, As a good driver what are you doing next ??

@ola_bamz @that_girldivy Saw what you did there..

@that_girldivy It took me exactly 69 seconds to decode it

IWYTEMPWISYD IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW