Office Dares

Pretend to be a virtual poltergeist by sneaking into shared work documents and moving things around during the night. 3 points.

On a zoom call, keep telling a colleague "you're on mute!" even when they're not. 1 point each time.

When asked in an interview "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?", set a reminder for exactly 5 years into the future, and email the interviewer to confirm whether you were right or wrong. 5 points.

As you pass someone who is entering a meeting room, mention "I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you...". 2 points.

In an interview, answer any awkward question with, "telepathy", and say it's an answer to their future question about your greatest strength. 4 points.

Call the IT Helpdesk. Ask them to help rid your neighbourhood of a child-murdering clown. 4 points.

Text your boss saying you're not in today as you missed the Bank Holiday and are catching up on +1. 4 points.

It's easy to feel you're not cut out for your job sometimes. Then you remember that an angry tangerine ball-bag is the President of the USA.

Do your job as badly as Sean Spicer does his. 852 points.

Buy a yellow jumper. Interrupt as many Skype calls as possible at the office, like this. 4 points.

Turn up to work naked and claim you've dressed as a character from the Kama Sutra for #WorldBookDay. 69 points.

Deliberately miss a meeting with your boss, then send a note saying you were "told never to meet your heroes". 4 points.

Eat a pie at work, then resign. Sutton points.

In an appraisal, inform your boss that any negative comments from colleagues are simply 'fake news'. Trump points.

People in a meeting when there is 'catering provided' vs people in a meeting where you're told to 'eat lunch beforehand'.

During an appraisal, yell "FAKE NEWS!" every time you're criticised. Trump points.

Call in sick today. Say it must have been the 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, or 2 Turtle Doves you ate. 12 points.

Do no work all day. If challenged, say you're taking part in a 24 hour Mannequin Challenge. 2 points.

Offer to organise Secret Santa in the office. Give everyone your name. 2 points.

On a conference call, play YouTube clips of people talking in Russian to convince everyone they've been hacked. 3 балла.