Old Man Rattle

@DUDEwipes dude just sponsor me already

@OldRattleMan that was a sh*tty thing for him to doo do

mr beast forced me to twerk until poop came out

pretending mashed potatoes is alien sludge

electrolytes made me act funny at krispy kreme

my podcast is so boring that not even white people will watch it

going to kfc just to flex my louis belt on all the homeless people in the parking lot

now that i’m a-list i’m too cool to do my calculus homework

don’t listen to my alter ego bro he’s evil and his name is the cruncher

is it attractive when i talk to myself

smashing the like button so hard my furniture starts levitating

pretending i’m a famous youtuber and talking to myself

telling my estranged husband that he’s a butt wipe

nana won’t let me get a messy fringed middle part and i’m so pissed

@karina_core i thought i was special

why is she cheating on me

My cousin crushed his teacup chihuahua with a fushigi ball

hey macklemore can we go dropshipping

hey macklemore can we go nee-doh hunting

Zane Firehammer II has in school suspension

@uxiefun beats by dre

@OldRattleMan what did you pick

my papaw took me to the lost and found for my birthday and told me to pick out anything i wanted

My nana rode a ripstik on the Oregon Trail