Olly iConic

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Olly iConic

Olly iConic

@OllyiConic

s c u m

Boston, MA Katılım Mart 2013
698 Takip Edilen14.7K Takipçiler
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
wife: i’m going into labor husband: when wife: now husband: [sets plate of nachos down] jesus christ karen i just made these
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
my liver calls me at night and just breathes into the phone
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
[my uber driver coughs one time] me: just let me out here
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
[uses the term ‘balls deep’ six times during a job interview at khols]
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
my foot fell asleep which means it trusts me
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
therapist: not everything is about you me: then why do you write down everything i say
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
driving instructor: don’t touch the orange cones me: [already wearing one like a hat] take a pic of me
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
“If you do your best, who can take that away from you?” One person. My mother.
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
[listening to someone read a poem they wrote] this is none of my business
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
Surprise your buddy by putting on clown makeup and dying in his attic.
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
Show up a few minutes early for your interview. Try to wear a shirt, and remain calm. If you don’t wear a shirt, that’s ok too. Tell them you have a normal amount of shirts at home and it won’t happen again.
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
if you have a disgusting hacking cough ask your doctor if the seat directly across from me on the bus is right for you
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
god: how are they doing down there angel: [long cigarette drag] not good
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
olive garden host: welcome to ol- me: [inhales deeply] i’m ready to help guard the olives
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
[being thrown from a moving vehicle] right here is fine
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
if you wanna make a real butterfly (from scratch) you gotta glue two falling leaves to a worm and throw it in the air
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Thomas
Thomas@writingthomas·
@OllyiConic Can you point out which is which?
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
here is my cat and jack nicholson
Olly iConic tweet mediaOlly iConic tweet media
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Olly iConic
Olly iConic@OllyiConic·
ME: may i see a milk list WAITER: a milk list ME: that’s right WAITER: we only have 3 kinds ME: you got chocolate WAITER: yes ME: what year WAITER: why this one of course ME: bring the jug
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