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This post made me remember something that happened to a guy I know in Lagos.
He was dating two women at different points in his life.
The first one, Tolu, was earning around ₦100k monthly. Nothing fancy. She lived modestly, budgeted everything, and still found a way to show up for him.
If he was broke, she would quietly handle small bills.
If he complained about transport, she’d send something without making noise.
Not because she had plenty… but because in her mind, “we are building together.”
She never used the word “my money.” It was always “how do we sort this?”
Fast forward a year later, things didn’t work out for unrelated reasons.
Then he met Amara.
Amara was doing very well. Remote job. Earning over ₦4m monthly. Soft life, vacations, designer everything.
At first, he felt like he had “made it.”
But reality started showing small small.
If they went out, it was always “you’re the man, you should handle it.”
If he had a rough month, her response was, “I can’t start carrying a man financially.”
Even basic emotional support came with conditions.
One day, NEPA took light in his area and his inverter spoiled. He joked about it, expecting maybe concern or even advice.
Her reply?
“Just fix it. You’re a man.”
That day, something shifted in his head.
Because he remembered how someone earning ₦100k once said,
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out together.”
No noise. No pride. No competition.
Just partnership.
He didn’t end it immediately… but mentally, he had already checked out.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how much someone earns.
It’s about whether they see life as me vs you…
or us vs the problem.
Sir Dickson@Wizarab10
A lady earning N100k who sees her income as family income is better than a lady earning N4m who sees her income as personal. Fling the relationship away
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