Overly Macho Man ™

Therapist? You mean bartender?

Caught a Pokemon. With his bare hands.

You cut your hand open? The superglue is in the living room.

Kids, the secret of how to get huge muscles is: Drink lots of beer.

Power hour? You mean power six hours?

Icy Hot cream? You mean my jerking off lotion?

Milf? You mean Mif?

Watches a documentary on lions, for hunting tips.

Swim with dolphins? I swim with sharks.

Steel wool? You mean my pubes?

Chaser? They're right next to the tampons.

Have I ever been in love? What am I, a hippie?

That's my dick. Not my arm.

Shopping cart? You mean pussy wagon?

FBI? You mean boy scouts?

Mustache? You mean pussy tickler?

13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, pussies.

Battle of the Bulge? You mean my winter vacation in 1944?

Pick-up line? You mean giant bulge in pants?

Has heart attack. Walks it off.