Bullshit Pianist

Thinking about starting a piano youtube channel where every video has some clickbaity title like "The Secret HACK to playing La campanella like a PRO!!" or "12 things you never noticed before about FUR ELISE!!" But each one is footage of me practicing slowly for hours.

@oboe5life What if you nail the audition, get the job, and then tell them nah? Sometimes we do something just for the ego boost, right?

Asked fb if I should still audition for the trump band and every white person i haven’t spoken to in 15 years is making sure to tell how sad I’ll be if I miss the opportunity…. Baby read the room

Playing #Ondine as your encore is a heck of a choice. But I guess, if you can play that piece then it's your choice to make #OndineTweets

I am subbing at a church in a few weeks and was informed that they want "something upbeat for the prelude/offertory/postlude. A polka, march or waltz or something like that would be fine."

1. Available 2. Talented 3. Live within reasonable commutes It feels just about impossible to find all three in a collaborator.

Ever try looking up a musician in your area only to find their website emphasizes consultations, their cash app handle, and booking an exorcism instead of like, what they do as a musician? I guess we all need a #SideHustle right?? #Ghosts #WeOutHere

@meredithmoo25 Wanna ask for a sample of their "arrangements, you know, for gigs"?? It may be entertaining

@johngood2000 Eh, I do try to keep this burner account somewhat anonymous. It's one of a handful of sonatas for piano + soloist that regularly appear on grad school collaborative piano required rep. selections. Maybe the moral is that us pianists sometimes say weird stuff to each other

@PTMusicGrind Ooh what was the program…and what was the piece?

Played a recital over the wknd and a rando came up to me afterward to compliment and tell me "it's so great to hear that piece. No one really plays it anymore" which feels a bit puzzling. A big venue performing database has it listed almost 3x a year for the past 130 years 🤔

One boundary I set as we rebuild from lockdown was to not commute to a school job to teach only one lesson. I've been good about it but made an exception today bc a student is performing soon. So obviously, they no-showed. Grrr. I want my time back !

Another student cancellation email but at least this one started with "I hope you had a restful weekend"

I realize there's a lot of context for Esperanza Spalding leaving her job at H*rvard but can you just imagine leaving a teaching job and then your next move is to crank out beautiful records with Fred Hersch and Milton Nascimento? What a dream. #Prune your gigs and grow

Yeah sure, but real ones know this would have way too many rattles and buzzing noises. Would play and would enjoy a beverage though. 6/10

IMO if your staging includes a clipboard (with the score) for your character you should be able to perform that part more accurately. I hate having to jump around to follow your variations on the text and creative rhythmic choices. #AccompanistProblems

Had a slice of buffalo chicken pizza before my piano lesson and then the lesson went great. I gotta repeat this experiment and see if it's a coincidence.

@chromeowtic Lol. I'm trying to imagine how I would use 100k to renovate my teaching space. Does their GoFundMe give a detailed breakdown of that goal amount?

When a program's audition repertoire has a simple "Update Aug 2025" in the bottom left corner.

I realize students come and go but one that I've put a lot of effort into their studies the past three years just dropped. They told the admin person instead of writing me directly too :/

Super important poll

I am GREAT at attracting unsustainable (money) bullshit accompanying jobs that are a 50-90 min commute. You know, the kind where they need a warm body that can sight read musical theater or choral parts. I'd much rather have a few vaguely pleasant piano students come to my home

Are you a pianist that has had to undo a redistribution so the phrasing, sound, and rhythm are more clear?? If so, you may be entitled to financial compensation.