Patrick Pinto

[describing criminal to sketch artist] He has the chin of a retired scaffolder. His shins smelled like burnt baguettes.

I am beyond proud.

I feel like I've been clicking this every day for like a year now

When all you want in life is a Mcflurry and they don't have ice cream.

I will not read your meter long captions on Instagram, White Girls..

My face smells like an old wooden bar

People of Johannesburg. Let's be clear; this is not even close to cold.

I might seem alright, but deep down, inside my shoe.. My sock is sliding down

Hazards are for when there is a hazard in the road, not for when you want to momentarily become one

No offense but you are a stupid asshole - Ron Burgundy

Chillin' out on the way to Woodstock

Johnnie Walker Gentlemans Wager