ᑭ🅰𝕣𝒶𝕓€𝕃𝕃uM£sq𝕌e

If Twitter has taught me one thing, it's nothing at all.

I'm having the time of someone else's life.

Sun.

I'm Mr Coffee.

Today, I shall entertain my neighbours by playing London's Burning in the garden. For hours.

I just found a £124,550 motorhome in the cupboard under the kitchen sink.

I need to get in touch with my outer adult

I’ve lost three times my own body weight in sweat.

I just sneezed and a 7 foot long burst of flames came out of my nose.

Sorry I'm late - I didn't want to come at all.

Heat Olympics, round two.

@paleoludic 100%.

@Parabellumesque let's assemble a team

I think I've evolved into magma.

I had twelve litres of water for dinner.

I am incredibly hot.

1000° face.

One man’s empathy is another man’s relief.

Silence is the loudest response you can give to disrespect.

Thirty-nine point three.

Realizing you have an opinion about the next James Bond is like stepping off a curb when there's no curb.

This is the year. I won’t just wear the antlers. I will become the deer.