Partying Sasquatch

Covid 1 through 18: Great now we get to be reminded at every family gathering of 19's accomplishments.

@John_ShouseV #ment2B

What is the point that one poop stops and the next begins? A world record depends on the answer.

Wanted: full time back scratcher. Must have low standards.

#cnnnye should I ride the ball or Kathy

After day 3 I realize she's not dead just in hibernation.

If I were king my candy bars would be way bigger.

A sticker that reads "I VOTED" really says "I'm 18" #election

Bald Eagle... Is officially the most dirty sounding animal. Honorable mentions horny toad, titmouse, and Egyptian Wang.

Squatches start balding from the sack out. This really helps with manscaping

Why isn't viagra the official sponsor of the 2012 debates.

I think I could win this debate by chugging a beer in their face #debate

Whever one of the candidates says something that's bullshit drink #debate

My girlfriend is the actual definition of a bitch.

Doing Bacon shots out of strippers belly buttons. Shame has never tasted to good

Does a strip club smell like a casino bathroom or is it the other way around

You say that's illegal, I say challenge accepted.

@sam_snell10 I call Dibs on the tiger

Leave before your sober and you will never bone an ugly girl. #thatsjustscience

Head-n-shoulders what the Hell are the 7 benefits.