Marcus Aupford

“Il n’y a pas d’endroit dans le monde où l’homme est plus heureux que dans un stade de football” Albert Camus.

"𝗥𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗟𝗔 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗣𝗘 𝗗𝗨 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗗𝗘 𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗖 𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗗𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗡𝗜𝗙𝗜𝗤𝗨𝗘 !" Bruno Fernandes veut offrir le trophée ULTIME à CR7 ! 🇵🇹🏆

@AnthoAmb @MoracchiniPF

Parles bien

I’m not deadlifting shit I can’t lie

Getting called to the managers office at JP Morgan

@MoracchiniPF @ValTieBreak Belle branlette

@ValTieBreak Un peu de la suranalyse là même si je l’aime bien

L’analyse est exceptionnelle Wiloo, t’es fort très fort

JP Morgan: We’re hiring. Me:

Kobbie Mainoo, forever United ✍️❤️

Do you know the purpose of the white lines on a football pitch or do you just see them as decorative markings? #AskMadueke

@JulienPernici Analyser un match sans l’avoir vu c’est fort 💪

Je ne regarde pas PSG - Bayern (en fait à part le Sporting je ne regarde quasi plus de football), mais un 5-4 en demies de Ligue des Champions c'est surtout marqueur de défenses totalement vermoulues

@poetscorneruk Pizza or dog shit

Olise or Saka

It took PSG & Bayern just 13.7 seconds to restart play from throw-ins last night. That's quicker than any single Premier League team has averaged this season (Man City fastest at 14.9s) #UCL

No content today, what a match.

arsenal and atleti game should be televised on al jazeera

1 - Casemiro tonight made 11 tackles, won 16 duels and made 9 clearances - he is the only player in the last 20 seasons to record all of those numbers in a single Premier League match. Everywhere.

My wife and I made a list of 5 people we can have sex with while married: Mine: 1. Greta Thunberg 2. Kim Kardashian 3. Angela Merkel 4. Sophie Rain 5. Mia Khalifa Hers: 1. Her gym trainer 2. Our neighbor Mohammed 3. Our neighbor’s son Ahmed 4. My brother 5. Her ex-boyfriend How dumb is she? She could have picked any celebrity, and instead she picked regular people Completely wasted her dream list

Until I reach the Premier League*

@ESPNUK Absolute rocket, you don’t save those @Drake_H_93

Mariona Caldentey’s equaliser is one Lyon won’t want to see again 😬

Noticing that "hair pulls are automatically a red card for violent conduct and three-match ban, and those are simply the rules" has been abandoned to "play on, no free-kick" within less than two weeks.

🚨 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚: Chelsea are FURIOUS that Calvert-Lewin didn't receive a red card for pulling Cucurella's hair! Lisandro Martínez DID receive a red card for pulling the hair of Calvert-Lewin!