BossLogic

No man steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. #JamboKenya

Kenyans should now prepare for the impact on their vehicles. If this condemned high-sulphur fuel has already found its way into the market, many motorists could soon be dealing with clogged fuel systems, damaged engine parts, poor performance and costly repairs. Yet again, ordinary people may end up paying the price for corruption at the top.

@Msnyaguthii Don't post incomplete stories

Hio story ya cucu contractor reminds me of when my mum and her friends decided to become government suppliers. They registered and were even prequalified. All along, we kept telling her it was a bad idea. They got their first contract to supply items to the Ruringu Correctional home, but the items zililikuwa vitu za upuzi, so they didn’t supply.

Knowing me now is like buying bitcoin in 2009.

@archiemwas 😆😆😆😆😆😆

Being a tiny guy huletea mtu mashida ingine noma sana. Nikiwa highschool form 3 we tried to strike mara kama tatu all unsuccessful. On the 3rd trial our principal alikuwa amechoka, so police were on stand by. After ka strike kameshika hivi tu, about 7 police cars zilikuwa hapo. Tulizimwa in 20 minutes. My chemistry teacher was a short young guy, probably in his mid-20s. Alikuwa very cool and had no problems with anyone, juu alikuwa anatoshana na sisi sasa atazua apige nani. Siku ya strike our principal alikuwa anaita all male staff hadi cooks kusaidia kutucontrol. Katika harakati za kusaidia, my teacher mwenye anatoshana na sisi akaspotiwa na karao akapigwa teke akawekwa na sisi wakidhani ni student. Tulikusanywa tukalazwa tumbo chini hapo parade ground. Unajua ile ufala ya polisi ya kusema kichwa chini kichwa chini huwezi jua umelala kando ya nani, sasa mimi nikiwa hapo nimelalia kokoto na tumbo nikainua kichwa kidogo nikaona my chemistry teacher kando yangu. Manze nilipasuka kicheko nikaskia nimepigwa nyahunyo moja kwa haga lakini it was worth it. It was a light moment in the midst of chaos.

Proper Potrait🙌🙌

Na hii kitu si tupee Maraga basi?

Bachelors can even die from malnutrition. Mtu anakula indomie na kc pinnaple for a whole Year. Mwingine anapata dysentery juu kikombe haoshi . Kuna mwingine alinyongwa na mkate ilikua imekaa 1 week kwa nyumba alifika 4am juu ya ma keg njaa imemsukuma mbaya . kama sio nguo alikua ame soak last week angetuacha . Ombeeni Hawa watu jameni .

@georgediano Leo jicho hamna... Letu sikio tu.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Marystella Kongani, a public health officer by profession, but currently a patient of romance gone wrong at Webuye County Hospital. Instead of issuing health advisories, she’s now busy receiving visitors and explaining how love turned into a boxing match,, Ni mbaya!!! Reports indicate that madam is recovering from what witnesses are calling an open-air massage with unhappy ending courtesy of her very committed and clearly overqualified lover. The man delivered hot silaaaps & blows like he was tendering for a government road contract in Kidero’s office. During his routine inspection visit & quality assurance matters along kilgoris lane, the man allegedly noticed that the dayametaa measurements had mysteriously expanded. Our boy pulled out his internal calculator & measured the circumference well well, but hesabu haikua inaingiana. When he politely inquired about the sudden geographical changes, daughter of Agrippina responded with Olympic confidence telling our boy that it was his horizontal engineering equipment that had reduced in size. My friend,, that statement alone deserves police protection. That’s when the situation escalated from romance to disaster management. The man switched from inspector to instructor, delivering a series of life lessons that nobody applied for. He deconstructed her face badly. He has since disappeared into thin air and authorities are now looking for him to offer him a fully sponsored staycation at the government owned Airbnb located in a gated community somewhere along Kamiti Road. Meanwhile, Marystella is recovering well and has reportedly advised the daughters of Agrippina to stick to one syllabus bcoz Group work is very dangerous. Apart from sura mbaya, thighs are looking good🥹. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

Twitter is less fun because you can no longer tell who is naturally dumb and who is trying to make rent from ragebait

@kamauwaruhiu 🤣 🤣 Solomonic art

There is a man in my neighborhood who has 3 wives , they all live in the same compound (it's a big compound). I have never heard any noise or kosokoso from that home . Sometimes I see them walking together deep in conversation. The problem is this man is nonchalant, he says a few words and he is done . I try and ask him his secret because even a house girl was too much for me . I even take him for nyama and after a few hours this guy will have said about 3 sentences. He smiles about twice a week .I fear that this noble art will pass with him.

@C_NyaKundiH You can hire me to animate your logos and watermark your media.

Is there an automated way I can be watermarking my videos. Too much theft.

@polo_kimanii Intellectual hater 😂 😂

Lakini kama Dadi Oven na macho moja kama skygo alipita na uyo kwelo mangai,akawacha mimi an intellectual high value man with a brand new sport bike and a collection of 16 books,hiyo ni kumaanisha mwanamke ni mtu mshenzi sana. Utamnunulia gari lakini juu ya kiburi achague baiskeli. Sasa imagine mdudu ikiingia kwa macho wakiwa highway. Kabla aitoe si watakua sayuni? Langu jicho tu!

Funniest eye witnesses in kenya🤣🤣 It is very shamebull 😂

Kuna mjaluo amelipia kila mtu fare kwa mat na tukisema asante akatwambia tunyamaze ama atulipie ata rent

@kuffkaffkweff Afande priss

Skuizi weed is being accepted positively in the society na watu ata hatungewai expect .Siku hizi smokers we no longer hide, me huwasha popote niendako. Kwa mat,kwa roadi,kwa church,kwa job,kwa ofisi,mpaka statehouse😂. Nawasha kimoja sai, je wewe?

Kaa mbali na kiburi.

Man was not meant to monitor this many situations.

@georgediano Bro got darker in custody 😂 😂 😂, kweli pesa sabuni

Son of Barnabas is currently staring at a long-term staycation in a govt owned Airbnb after deciding to audition for the role of Kenya’s Most Unnecessary Criminal by mutilating Kenyan currency on camera. The other day our boy was tearing up notes as if his father is the Governor of the Central Bank and money grows on mugumo trees. He was doing it with confidence, audacity & stupidity! Little did he know that the Kiambu Rd based sleuths were watching him with sanpaku eyes, especially Afande Kipto, a man who was personally motivated because his Fuliza reminder SMS had just landed that morning. When you tear money in front of a police officer who still owes safaricom,,, my friend, you are basically writing your own arrest warrant. It didn’t even take 24 hours before the mumu man was netted like a tilapia in Lake Victoria. Right now he is cooling his heels in the executive govt owned Airbnb along Kiambu Rd near Karura Forest, enjoying complimentary accommodation, zero Wi-Fi, and a strict room service menu of ugali, beans, and deep personal reflection. Soon he’ll be transported to a gated community along Kamiti Road, where he will be warmly welcomed by the Sondu eaters, certified mikoras, and other long-term tenants who will educate him on an important life lesson. In Kenya you can waste time, but tearing money on camera? That one will give you a free govt vacation immediately. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@polo_kimanii good times to be guy that sells cameras

98% of Traffic police who have built anything meaningful from their jobs,have done it using bribes. The smart traffic cameras are a punch in the stomach for them. These people have nothing to live for anymore,many will quit,others will become thieves. AI is taking jobs aisee