PepsiGods retweetledi
I want to start by being real about what happened. I made multiple people feel uncomfortable while drunk at Beerio Kart. There’s no excuse. It was messed up, it hurt people, and I crossed a line. I take full responsibility for it. I’ve already reached out to the people involved to try to make things right.
I also let down my family and close friends. I want to apologize to my son. I know this is something he’ll have to carry. And Joseph, if you ever see this, I’m sorry. I’m going to be better for both of us.
When I talked to my mom about everything, I said I was glad my grandma wasn’t around to see this. She passed away recently, and I hadn’t said anything publicly. But saying that out loud to my mom just broke me. I started crying, and I don’t think I’ve done that with her since I was a kid. What hit me hardest was realizing I never took my grandma to see the pope like I always said I would. I kept putting it off to drink or go to events. And now I can’t. That fucking sucks. That regret is going to stay with me.
After reflecting on the worst moments of my life, I see a pattern: alcohol has always been involved. I understand that my words mean nothing right now, and alcohol excuses 0 percent of my actions, but I promise I'm gonna beat this and show you that I can be a greater man without the influence of alcohol. I know my grandma is looking down and rooting for me.
Next, I don't want anyone to defend me for my actions. I was in the wrong 100 percent and there's no one to blame but myself. I crossed lines/boundaries and no matter the circumstances, once you make someone else uncomfortable, even if you think what you're doing isn't bad in the moment, lines get crossed and its just over. It's on me and not anyone else. I'm sorry to everyone I hurt in this process, including everyone watching and the melee community Since all this happened, I’ve talked to a lot of people. This letter is mostly for them. I lost my C9 family. People I’ve known for years. People I care about. That phone call with Jack hit hard. It felt like I let down someone who was like a second dad to me. I still don’t really know how to think about it.
As for the ban, I support it. I’ve always wanted what is best for Melee. If I never get to come back, I accept that. What matters most now is fixing what I can and making sure I never become that person again. Trust takes time, and some people might never want me around again. I respect that fully.
My next step is to focus on real recovery. I’ve already started researching rehab and will be checking into one when I find the right fit. My relationship with alcohol was always a problem and I just kinda made it my thing, so it was easy to brush a lot of the behavior and comments off. That lifestyle has caught up to me and I need to make a change for the better, and the only way to do that is to move forward and accept that I need to leave the person who I was behind. For the near future, I’m going to take a step back from streaming and social media.
Hopefully next time you see me, things are better. No matter how long it takes.
Thank you
-mang0
English
