Peter Griffin

Anyone else put off sleep because it’s a Time Machine to go to work or is it just me

Why are trains so expensive? You going that way anyways, just drop me off

My insecurities came from wii fit calling me obese in 4th grade

If you’re a female and you come out of quarantine without bangs you’re part of the elite

Do u ever look up an artist who sings a song you like and they look completely opposite of what you expected and then the songs not the same

364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable

Y’all don’t even know what impeached means

The only thing I gained from 2019 was weight

Why do people comment on a celebrity's insta as if they're best friend 'gorgeous boo❤️' as if Kylies gonna respond 'comin from u gurl😍

Why do they even include 2019 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

Yeah cold weather and pumpkins are cool and all but the real excitement is I can finally hide the fact that I’m fat under my clothes again

Alexa, might as well play me cause everyone else does

One of the most disappointing things in life is when someone you once respected reposts the Instagram copyright disclaimer

Nothing’s more humiliating than accidentally watching someone’s story 4 seconds after they post it

I was watching paranormal activity today and it pissed me off how demons be dragging them by their hair and they still stay and sleep in the house like damn why don’t u just go to the mall or something Denny’s open 24 hours you got options Katie

Second week of the year fucked up already and probably will the rest of 2019. 2020 my year tho we bouncing back calling it from now 😤

I hate Meg

Everyone has a traumatizing edible experience story

Theory the first pic Kylie revealed of Stormi was with a Snapchat filter. I bet Snapchat paid her to do that because Kylie is the reason they lost millions because of her negative tweet about the update twitter.com/kyjennerworld/…

I wonder if there's any babies out there named Susan