Philip Tuesday

Here's "Paul Daniels" by The Colourdrops, a band I was in as a child. @noggsy87 and @matt_jaffa share the blame soundcloud.com/john-fidler/pa… RIP

There's a worm at the bottom of the garden, and his name is... I forget.

Angels with Dirty Faeces @midnight #FilmPoops

The Stench Connection (with Poopeye Doyle). #FilmPoops @midnight

Scatman #FilmPoops @midnight

I wouldn't piss on me if I was on on fire

Which hurts the most?

@PhilipTuesday Mishka Shubaly, so don't ask.

A song Let's Raise A Glass youtu.be/wlpkqBa_9Qo

BREAKING: Walsall man has flat battery.

Sunday.

One of my nipples has fallen off! False alarm. It's a cornflake.

Frankie Boyle, the funniest dinner lady at our school.

@PhilipTuesday ... Or, "Is that meant to be the fucking moon?"

@PhilipTuesday ... Or, why is the moon...

"Where's your spunk?", an American fitness instructor once asked me. #TimesWhenMyAspergersGotMeIntoTrouble

There's a guy works down the chip shop who swears.

@ArcheryButts bravo

Of corset suits you John.

His name was Jesus. He was a showgirl.