Tomlette

@martyrdison It’s the equivalent of a someone on the sell side saying a competitor has a better product offering… why would you do that?

one of the things you should never tell a girl you’re dating is that she could do better than you it only allows her to quietly sit and think about whether or not you’re right and once she realizes you were right she has no choice but to leave

Spending 15K on the old part of my roof is just not enjoyable

@mayisupercool Yeah this doesn’t happen

We’re used to seeing gay men and straight women hanging out but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a straight man hanging out with a lesbian woman

Q1 is in the books… Great job everyone. 🤝

Work wife has been gone a week and a half on vacation. We down

@alisha_hg @finnnbarrr You solved the mystery!

@PierpointPride @finnnbarrr It does!

Going to need an explanation to how we got this inside

@bcmommysaysso Hbd

@finnnbarrr Unless that west window wall by the escalators opens up I don’t get it

@PierpointPride As someone that frequents that space daily, I am beyond confused what entrance that would fit in

Clipping your nails in the office? You’re fired

@CirceChronicles Whiskey sour?

Influence rarely announces itself. The most powerful command is the one the listener believes was their own idea.

I think if i ever took a trip to Atlanta I’d be in real trouble

@martyrdison Finally someone shares this fascination

i’ve become fascinated with auto loan delinquencies auto loans are one of the last things american workers stop paying right now over 6% of subprime borrowers are 60+ days behind on their car payments which is the highest on record since 08’ financial crisis repossessions hit ~1.7 million last year, highest since 2009 and the number is only increasing so what does it say about the economy when the last bill people stop paying is the one that’s already breaking?

Shame. I could have met my wife waiting 3hrs in the tsa line.

Peaky Blinders

@AnthonyDabbundo I’m here for it

the nationwide TSA security line panic is very clearly just a scheme by big airport to get people to arrive early and consume more airport beers

@djimjustagirl Uhhhh yeah

I’m sure there’s something here I’m missing but the UNITED STATES postal service is adding a tax onto our packages because the UNITED STATES started a war that started an energy crisis. Eat that 8% you bastards, you lose my mail all the time anyways.

@themilfalt It’s just jealously probably

@PierpointPride Work smarter not harder

Lmao every week this girl shows up in the office midday and immediately goes out to lunch