Hank Pine

Just blew a kiss to an angry dude in a truck who was swearing at me in traffic, and felt like it was a victory for my people. My people being the sarcastic assholes of the world.

Today I acquired a new level of time management that caused me to question my life, It’s called “sipping coffee while pooping” and I think we all need to slow down a bit.

5 Reality Shows I hope to see one day: 1. Puppy Play Parlour (Gay) 2. Touch My Cactus 3. Ghost Lovers 4. Bears Baking Biscuits (GAY) 5. Drake and Kendrick's Lamaze Maze

@dive_nn Yes. To do many of these. But that fever ray show I saw was legendary.

my top albums of 2023, plus my other favs for the year

@brandonhackett Me! I just wrote and directed a campy action TV pilot called The Batshits!

@jimbodragclown Hahahaha! Finally! The part where the guide says, has anyone seen "bird on a wire?" And a silence falls over the crowd, is that still there?

I’ve been added to the tours of Chinatown that I’ve listened out my window for the past 15 years! “This is where JIMBO the World Famous Clown Lives”. I smile and wave lol👋

Happy Pride Twitter, been a while! Here is crop of crappy drag names brought to you by this ferry boat line-up: Ladies, gentlemen and others welcome to the stage... Faye Diddaway Phyllis Bottom Lucinda Loafers Iris Catall And the crappiest... (Enter yours here)

@MsKatieEllen I always have you in my plans for plan B plans, which is a good thing.

@PineHank Please text me this kinda thing in the event you know

"Bears, they 69 and stuff." -Carolyn Mark (After informing us that bear tongues and bear vaginas are the same length. 8-10 inches.)

@rywilliamscomic open.spotify.com/album/3lMMxxAS…

@hulloharris And I am the new Topsy

Elon Musk is our Edison, and has the same regard for democracy as the latter did for elephants.

@ShirleyGnome I would prefer this in cursive against an ocean sunset. Perhaps a mountain. Maybe a dick pic.

Somewhere, your enemy is boring someone to death with the unconvincing story of how they weren’t wrong

@Mister_Dach I am the hero here with severe alcohol poisoning

Never play "Never Have I Ever" with straight people 12-15 years younger than you.

This place is so fancy. The "deconstructed banh mi" is a baguette, pile of meat, and a hairnet.

@lazerdoov Ol' Splattertail

There are no bad names for a miniature horse. Any name you give a miniature horse will be perfect. Go ahead

@Mister_Dach Five. Five am.

Those who can't live, coach.

@jimbodragclown Yes.

My new Spooky Single drops on Friday :) PRESAVE it here ffm.to/pumpkintits

@trixiemattel That's DOCTOR Manhattan to you.

🙂🩸

@jimbodragclown Send me a video of someone getting a swirlie in reverse please

Made it Din Unda!! Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!….