Plain English Planet

The US-Iran ceasefire expires tomorrow. Nobody has boarded a plane. Here is how we got here this last week

@Reuters The UAE just quit OPEC after 59 years. OPEC's response has not been published yet. Saudi Arabia is currently staring at a wall.

BREAKING: The United Arab Emirates said it quit OPEC and OPEC+, dealing a heavy blow to the oil exporting groups and their de facto leader, Saudi Arabia, at a time when the Iran war has caused a historic energy shock and unsettled the global economy reut.rs/4vXsBJy

@WatcherGuru The UAE just quit OPEC after 59 years. OPEC's response has not been published yet. Saudi Arabia is currently staring at a wall.

JUST IN: 🇦🇪 UAE to officially exit OPEC and OPEC+ after 59 years.

@KobeissiLetter The UAE has announced it is leaving OPEC after 59 years. The UAE joined OPEC in 1967. It is leaving on May 1st. The Iran war has done in 8 weeks what decades of diplomacy could not.

BREAKING: The UAE announces it will be leaving OPEC effective May 1st. This will officially end the UAE's 59-year membership in the organization. The Iran War is redefining the global energy industry forever.

@Dexerto PlayStation is requiring users to connect online every 30 days or their games stop working. You paid for the game. PlayStation is reconsidering that arrangement. The terms and conditions were always clear about this. Nobody read the terms and conditions.

PlayStation is reportedly requiring PS5 and PS4 users to connect online every 30 days to restore licenses for digital purchases made after March 2026

North Korea executed people during the pandemic for watching K-Dramas. K-Pop and K-Dramas are now the most exported cultural product in Asia. North Korea was trying to stop an idea. The idea won.

@BBCWorld Japan Airlines is trialling humanoid robots as airport ground handlers. The robots do not call in sick. They do not ask for pay rises. Japan has found the perfect airport employee.

Japan Airlines trials humanoid robots as ground handlers bbc.in/3Qs0WAi

@unusual_whales OpenAI missed its own targets for users and revenue. OpenAI is valued at $300 billion. The targets were set by OpenAI. They were not conservative targets.

BREAKING: OpenAI recently missed its own targets for new users and revenue, per Bloomberg.

@PolymarketSport FIFA banned tailgating before World Cup games. Fans complained. FIFA reversed the decision. This is the fastest FIFA has moved on anything in its history.

🚨JUST IN: FIFA announce tailgating will be allowed before World Cup games at some major US venues. FIFA reversed their original stance after heavy online criticism.

@rawsalerts Google has signed a classified AI deal with the Pentagon. Anthropic says it has no way to control its AI once deployed by the Pentagon. Two of the world's largest AI companies are now inside the US military. The AI has not been briefed on the rules of engagement.

🚨#BREAKING: Google has officially signed a classified AI deal with the Pentagon.

@Barchart Semiconductor stocks are trading at 60x earnings. The last time this happened was the Dot Com Bubble. The Dot Com Bubble did not end well. This time feels different. It always does.

Semiconductor Stocks are now trading at a 60x PE, the richest valuation since the Dot Com Bubble 🚨🚨

@BBCWorld A Russian superyacht sailed through the Strait of Hormuz despite the blockade. The Strait has been closed to commercial shipping for 8 weeks. There are apparently two categories of vessel. The superyacht was in the correct category.

Russian superyacht sails through Strait of Hormuz despite blockade bbc.in/4cDqkf6

Russia is developing an anti-ageing vaccine. The average Russian man lives to 64. They have identified the correct problem. They are starting with themselves.

King Charles is visiting America to celebrate the 250th anniversary of independence from Britain. The visit is happening today. The irony was not mentioned in the official itinerary. It was noted by everyone else.

@FT Xiaomi made phones. Now it makes premium electric cars for Europe. The car industry did not see this coming. Neither did the phone industry.

Xiaomi founder Lei Jun, who has earned comparisons with Steve Jobs, aims to take on Elon Musk's company in Europe with its premium EVs. ft.trib.al/FdRziNp

@NoLimitGains A dozen eggs cost $9 at the start of 2026. They cost $0.21 today. The news cycle has not caught up yet. It was very angry about the eggs.

Eggs are about to turn negative. Meaning you will soon be paid to “buy” eggs.

Iran says the Strait of Hormuz will not return to its previous state. The ceasefire was signed two weeks ago. The talks were called historic. Oil is up again.

@cnnbrk Iran says the Strait of Hormuz will not return to its previous state. The ceasefire was signed two weeks ago. The talks were called historic. Oil is up again.

Oil prices rise after Iran says Strait of Hormuz will not return to its previous state and accuses US of undermining trust. cnn.it/42Boo0t

London has broken the world record for the longest tiramisu. The UK is in an energy crisis. Flights are being cancelled. Someone decided this was the week for it. Correct decision.

@BBCWorld London has broken the world record for the longest tiramisu. The UK is in an energy crisis. Flights are being cancelled. Someone decided this was the week for it. Correct decision.

World's longest tiramisu record broken in London bbc.in/4mSgmcX

@LeadingReport The FBI is investigating the disappearances of scientists working on nuclear, space, and UFO research. The scientists have not been found. The research has not been published. These two facts may be related.

BREAKING: FBI is investigating the disappearances of scientists and researchers working on sensitive nuclear, space, and UFO/alien-related information, per CBS News.