Mike Politic

@OliReading But garlic needs to be dried out first. Surely otherwise it’s not meeting the expectation of the order

#TheApprentice pulling up the garlic themselves we'll save them a few pounds and cost them hours 😬

Seriously this entire task is fucking stupid. Let them have a mobile phone ffs. “I want people Who are fucking idiots”; Alan Sugar 2006-2026 #TheApprentice

Don’t think anyone told Kieran this wasn’t a buy as much coke as you can task #TheApprentice

The fuck is neo doing there #TheApprentice

@britishair__crd Hahahaha. Nice try

British Airways cancels Dubai flights until summer over Middle East 'airspace instability' lbc.co.uk/article/britis…

@LBC This is very #ThickOfIt

@robprogressive Stop yapping and move then. You keep saying you will. Becoming tiresome

How you get taxed to death in the UK 🇬🇧 Me: I earn £100k HMRC: Lovely. We’ll take about £40k Me: I buy a £30k car HMRC: Add 20% VAT Me: I invest and make £20k profit HMRC: Capital Gains please Me: I gift my kid £10k HMRC: Hope you live 7 years Me: I sell some stuff online and make £200 HMRC: That’s income. Declare it Me: I buy a £400k house HMRC: Stamp Duty please Me: I finally retire HMRC: Great. Now we tax your pension Me: I die HMRC: Inheritance Tax please

Triple death!!!! #TheApprentice

@AceXn9 Always thought this. I think sugar has been having a stroke for 20 years.

apparently being able to cook is a good determinant of how well you can run a business or how investable you are #TheApprentice

Mmmmm salmonella for pudding #TheApprentice

Here’s a fact on this luxury away day you’re one. This town drinks their own piss! #TheApprentice

Where does sugar find these corporate clients? “Our maximum budget for a luxury day AND food with free flowing wine is $3200” if that’s true they are fucking jokers. Absolute lying this show has become #TheApprentice

The fuck is he talking about his wedding speech for #TheApprentice

@mdbaggy 😂

“I’ve never done corporate away days but I’ve been to the desert “ I’ve been to the chip shop, doesn’t mean im a fucking fisherman. #TheApprentice

I mean I find that at events you have to have people who have a horrid time #TheApprentice #TruthInIt

What a wonderful day!

@GaryDelaney Booked for Blackburn (seriously why no Preston) next year.

The sex tape joke. I originally wrote this for a news story on Mock the Week about surveillance. Then that story was cut from the edit so I later recycled it in the Wheel of News section under the catch all heading of Technology in 2016. It was used in my 2015-2016 tour and then had its farewell performance on Live at the Apollo in 2017. New tour Gary on Laughing is on sale now. More dates in bigger rooms are added Friday 27th Feb covering places like Brum, Edinburgh, Swansea and Glasgow. Link in bio.

@TheReal_Cure amazing pancetta to use in a carbonara

@Tesla Is there a picture of what a Cybercab is. This just looks like a team Photo no cab in sight

First Cybercab off the production line at Giga Texas