Michael Johnson

Why is this ad using a cactus? I cant think of a worse choice.

Anthony Jeselnik is a comedian who is as edgy and as offensive as comedy comes, but he also doing it in good faith and in the context of stand-up comedy. And he accepts and understands what he is doing. He is RIGHT ON here.

@KevinlyFather I love how many small but completely unbelievable lies he just sprinkles into every thing he says . "I get that question almost more than any other question" No. No you dont. Theres no way that is true. It is just a sales technique to build rapport and it is tacky.

Trump suggests that there's no reason not to think that there's life on Mars. Joe Rogan fact checks him immediately. Trump switches to talking about Chinese balloons. "They never would have done it with me." They did.

BREAKING: The ex-model who accused Donald Trump of groping her in the 1990s is giving more details into the former president's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. goodmorningamerica.com/news/story/mod…

@Ronxyz00 As an uncle, i can say this sounds like an awful idea. I have a bunch of nieces and this sounds like too much work. Plus they would make better choices than I would.

@ctv_mack But, has anyone ever came forward and said that they worked on or were involved with any part of that movie. Thats where the whole Mandela effect breaks down for me

This Sinbad genie movie is one of the biggest mysteries of my life cuz till this day, I could swear I seen Sinbad as a genie in a movie.

I know i might sound like a homer right now, but how can you have everyone in the booth point out how obvious it was that he touched the ball and then not over turn the call. I think the announcers should be able to double challenge bad challenges.

Their controlling the weather

@pattonoswalt @primantibros And of course the jersey we see being worn by a JD fan is Big Ben's

Dear @primantibros: I was already in love with you because of your awesome sandwiches but you went the extra mile here. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@dietkramer I now find that SNL skit so much funnier

this is a real game show currently airing on Fox...

@TommyBeer Cowboys right? I mean, the lakers having Dak as a potential starting pitcher might give a little advantage on the mound, but the rest of the laker size wise make for a massive strike zone. Plus has to be easier to find 9 baseball players out of 54 NFLers than 11 NBAers

let me flip over to ESPN to find out what the most respected NBA analyst on earth thinks about this massive Knicks-Wolves trade... ahhh nevermind, First Take is debating whether the Cowboys would beat the Lakers in a baseball game if LA traded LeBron to Dallas for Dak.

I just now, 7 minutes ago, learned that Billy Zane didnt play the Mummy in the Brendan Frasier Mummy Movies.

LEGO to my show

@megynkelly Isn't, and correct me if I'm wrong, Isn't Trump a super rich celebrity. I'm pretty sure he had a TV show and everything.

Amazed they think this Oprah thing is going to appeal to Indep’s. A bunch of super rich Hollywood celebs endorsing Harris - absolutely none of whom understands anything about the working class’s suffering. Emc’d by one of the richest women on earth whose act has grown very stale.

@Dgillbert @MattGertz Ok 1st, i love the name of the cat. 2nd. Nice of her to apologize. 3rd. Maybe, jjjuuuusssstttt maybe consider being less obvious with who you still support for president

People who have apologized: 1) The Facebook poster who started the rumor. 2) The lady who filed a police report on her Haitian neighbors only to find her cat in the basement. People who haven't: 1) Trump 2) Vance 3) MAGA media who pushed the story. mediamatters.org/jd-vance/jd-va…

@corys00 @SoftyGMB @PabloTorre @minakimes @FamilyFeudABC @davidchang @MichelleWieWest @pablofindsout @majordomomedia I want this to be true. I dont think ive ever wanted something to be true so bad in my life.

@SoftyGMB @PabloTorre @minakimes @FamilyFeudABC @davidchang @MichelleWieWest @pablofindsout @majordomomedia Believe it or not, the surviving cast members of "Little House on the Prairie"

Monday, 9/16. 9p ET. @FamilyFeudABC 😬 (No, I’m not actually related to @davidchang or @MichelleWieWest or @minakimes)

@RexChapman Me reading the tweet's text: oh god, im sure it isnt THAT and if it is, there is some room for debate and interpretation Me watching the video: Yep. 100%. That just happened. No room for debate or interpretation

NO 44 - 19 DAL Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1086th unique final score in NFL history.

THIS WINS THE DAY!!!! twitter.com/TheKiffness/st…

@thevivafrei @GavinNewsom @realDonaldTrump Honestly, the full clip still makes it sound like he would with hold aid during a disaster because of political or personal reasons... which is a bad thing.

@GavinNewsom @realDonaldTrump Why don’t you play the full context? 😆

Every voter should be made aware of this. @realDonaldTrump just admitted he will block emergency disaster funds to settle political vendettas. Today it’s California’s wildfires. Tomorrow it could be hurricane funding for North Carolina or flooding assistance for homeowners in Pennsylvania. Donald Trump doesn’t care about America — he only cares about himself.