pree

“A relationship is far beyond s£x; that’s not what keeps a man”— TikToker Jarvis

The most tiring thing about this discourse is that both sides involved knows it's not all men. Tegbe here knows that in fact, not all men are rapists, as he himself is not a rapist. It beats me why they'd rather pretend otherwise; or what they intend to achieve.

You’ve practically just answered the question yourself. You, I, and the women speaking out, very well know that not all men are rapists or bad, it goes without saying. I am not, you are not, so why are we so determined to use moments when they are expressing anger, fear, and real patterns they’ve experienced from men to exempt ourselves as if we don’t understand what they mean? If you and I are not guilty, our government names were not called, why do we feel attacked in that very moment? Why are we more concerned about exceptions the moment a norm is being rightly called out? Do we want an award for being exceptions? What does it matter to the victims, in that very moment, that you and I are exceptions when no one mentioned our names? Of what use is highlighting our “good guyness”? Is that the real issue? How is it helpful to the issue when, instead of leading with empathy and understanding, acknowledging and holding our fellows accountable, our first and loudest response is being dismissive, derailing the convo, centering and reassuring ourselves instead of the affected people? We understand what we mean when we say the Nigerian police are bad or share our horrible experiences, we know not all officers are bad. Yet in that moment, we understand that it would be dismissive and insensitive when someone, especially a police officer responds with “not all police” or claim we are exaggerating. Imagine this happening during the heat of Endsars. We understand the concept of rhetorical expressions used to highlight patterns and communicate urgency. We understand the concept of using language for social critique and pointing out systemic issues. We understand that the point is to draw attention to recurring problems or patterns, we understand all these in other issues but choose not to apply that same understanding here, why? Why is it so important to us that “some” must always be inserted when a pandemic is being highlighted? Ozoro did not happen out of nowhere, it happened because an ill has been so normalized for too long unchecked, one that persists when patterns are downplayed or dismissed and young men have been socialized to find nothing wrong with it. We must do better.

The cruelty of some Nigerians is befuddling. I can never imagine that i will be starting the year homeless, sick and extremely unable to function properly because another person decided to scam her tenants. From having a home, a business, structure to being homeless & confused.

Once I saw "some Nigerians" at the beginning, I already knew the person in question was a woman. If it was a man, it would have been "Nigerian men are very cruel".

imagine a man who is still kind even when he is angry

15 Years of being a father to my siblings ❤️ They are turning to a beautiful ladies and I am proud of it🤭. Eid Mubarak from Movas and his siblings ❤️

15 Years of being a father to my siblings ❤️ They are turning to a beautiful ladies and I am proud of it🤭. Eid Mubarak from Movas and his siblings ❤️

There is no such thing as a raping festival. That is not culture. Any sexual practice that removes the right of women to be willing participant, is not culture. That is simply gang rape and sexual assault. The police needs to pack everybody involved if they are not also involved in this madness. Culture is not absolute. Man made culture. Therefore, man can undo it. Any culture that is repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience, is not binding. Any culture that is incompatible with extant Nigerian law, is not binding. Any culture that contravenes public policy, is not binding. This nonsense behaviour is not culture. It is man made excuse to violate women. Arrest everybody.