Privett Life

Pat and Joe shag Dolphins.

The most charming man in PO12. Welcome back.

Second best left-back to play at Privett Park last season.

One down, one to go. One more year, two more years, 100 more years. If we had a quid for every time one of these fossils told us they were done, we'd have enough money to finance a small run of these t-shirts in time for the new season.

@GosportBFC @AdamTomasso Tremendous.

𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗺 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗼 𝗿𝗲-𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀! The midfielder played over 40 games last season, and was also named players’ player of the season. A big boost to the team! Welcome back, @AdamTomasso Available to Sponsor. Please contact commercial.gbfc@gmail.com #UpTheBoro #UTB

Then. Now. Forever.

I would love to have six pints of Sagres with this man.

Leaked footage of Tarbs taking the call from Suraci and Lea last week.

@danfloyd1993 @thesameoldfew Lovely detail here.

@PrivettLife @thesameoldfew Had to check that wasn’t someone we are playing next season

Just a truly insane way to announce a new gaffer. No notes. Good luck Simon.

@Rory27Will thanks Roy, looking forward to chatting EBITDA with you next season.

@PrivettLife Great to see you Matt. As ever excellent bantz

Just paid £3 for a bottle of water at Portsmouth Harbour. The final indignity of a season that promised so much and delivered a 6/10.

RW3 in central midfield? Let the sexy football show begin.

Should be a minute's applause on Saturday for any mad bastards going to Tiverton tonight.

Someone on the coach home show this to Fernandes.

@rew_harvey give Harvey Rew a season-long ban immediately.

Where do you want your statue Zak Sharp?

Bad one for Tarbs here. The swiftest of swift recoveries for the GOAT.

'technically shit and broadly irrelevant'

The release of latest episode of the 'popular' Gosport Borough podcast Privett Life has been cancelled following today's news. An unnamed host also fucked up their audio. Rumours that Matt has been banned from Edd's spare room as a result are understood to be wide of the mark.