Professor David Balls

@StreathamRovers Outrageous to call the Gaffa a ‘fat prat’. He’s been working really hard on his health. His blood pressure is looking great compared to the infamous shot of him after a particularly bad loss.

During tomorrow's league game we will be partnering with the Campaign Against Social Media Abuse & Cyberbullying to raise awareness by playing with a special one-off match ball that features just two of the many insults we have received on social media. #LetsStopTheOnlineHate

@CentristQC I give the best team talks! Half time cinnamon bun anyone?? 😂🤣😂

@2012Studies @UC_Borehamwood Maybe… Professor Wayne Davies can make you a parking spot with his hologram machine?! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@ProfDavidBalls @UC_Borehamwood You have illicit sex with them, Balls. You are a dirty little scoundrel and I want your bloody parking spot 😡😡😡

Utter idiots (including soon to be ex-students of ours) have been flooding the socials saying we're not doing enough to protect our campus from meningitis! Believe us, we're killing it 💪

@2012Studies @UC_Borehamwood That’s because I bribe the cleaning department with cinnamon buns 😂🤣😂

@UC_Borehamwood You never dump carcasses on @ProfDavidBalls parking spot. Never!

@Luke_J_A_P @churnwell Don’t you see how happy I am?

@churnwell @ProfDavidBalls How does spending lots of money at an expensive shop deliver power to the people?

Power to the people! @ProfDavidBalls spends £853 at his favourite cafe/bakery, GAIL's.

@joshxhowie @KathViner The public look up to people like you and me, Josh.

Delivery for ⁦@KathViner⁩

@churnwell What a delight. I’m more than happy to pay good money for real quality. Not like those Brexit-voting chumps who eat at Greggs 😂🤣😂🤣😂

@StreathamRovers Do you want to write any more letters, Spencer?! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Club Statement:

What a huge night for {insert football team here}, they’ve really got to go and show what they’re made of. #football #engagement #starmer #HorseLovers

@churnwell I wouldn’t to get onion gravy on your coffin Andy 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

I've already paid for mine, if anybody would like to come?

dignitas st patricks day deals

@lembitopik What? I don’t get it

Keir Starmer’s Labour Cabinet has put the satirical political series “The Thick of It” out of business by making the truth stranger than fiction

@CentristQC @lembitopik 😂🤣😂🤣😂 How do you think of this stuff??!?!? Fantastic Piers!

@lembitopik Looks like Keir Starmer's Labour Cabinet has put the Netflix sci fi series "Stranger Things" out of business by making the truth a Stranger Thing than fiction

@churnwell This tweet from Zarah is an absolute disgrace. My £4.30 pistachio & chocolate croissant is worth a thousand of your peasant sausage rolls!

Great. Now @ProfDavidBalls is crying. I hope you're happy.

Move aside Mr Starmer. Ed Davey, the Daddy, is here to save Britain.

@UC_Borehamwood Professor Davies has been working so hard on this. He locks himself away in that room four hours, sometimes even overnight! The residue from his rigirous methodology is often scattered all over the holodeck.

Touching: We captured the moment Professor Wayne Davies handed Mother's Day flowers to his AI powered creation - a hologram of his late mother Ethel who drowned while saving him from the waters of Weston Super Mare.

Tomorrow the Ides of March becomes the RIDE of March as students and staff are invited to saddle up on our campus mascot, Julius Squaelar.

@StreathamRovers @TreborRhurbarb I’d love to see the SRFC HR policy regarding the bottom right picture 😂😂

We'd like to wish all players, staff, volunteers and supporters a very Happy Mother's Day. We're celebrating it with these candid photos of some of our players and their own mums. #MothersDay #SRFC #UpTheGreyhounds #NeverStopNotGivingUp