God of Seals

@TheBigDoink_ @guitargeminix

@guitargeminix I wonder

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death.

@ignAliennn @KaijuDuck Do you think otherwise?

@RGpa2nom @KaijuDuck “which was the best thing to do” holy cornball

My biggest mistake as a Minecraft fan was falling out of Minecraft when these two capes were around

@kkkSanches @harristic_

@kkkSanches @harristic_ Wait it's supposed to be prismarine shards, not blocks

crafting recipes you have literally never used part 1

@PuppygirlOzura @itiswattles You have to wear it on bedrock

@itiswattles Wait, how? I claimed my yesterday and still havent gotten it on Java yet 😭

I GOT THE COPPER CAPE ON JAVA!! omg it looks even better on

@Minecraft Done

⛏️Take on The Copper Cape Quest, a three-part community challenge! First up: help summon 75 million copper golems from 8am PDT Sep 30 to 10am PDT Oct 6 2025. If completed, we all earn in-game items in Bedrock and Java, plus unlock our next challenge! Learn more here! aka.ms/CopperCapeQuest

@Minecraft End of Vacation cuz school --> End Update

Back to school = new builds, new friends, and new gear. Start the year with Minecraft backpacks, lunch boxes, water bottles and more! ready for every adventure. #Minecraft Click the links to shop: The Minecraft Shop: bit.ly/3VeTxTS Pottery Barn Kids: bit.ly/4fSRoH5 Igloo Coolers: bit.ly/41R1gv3 Simple Modern: bit.ly/41Tn6y3

@nkmyztcha @Valuenetwork97 Stone inside him

@Valuenetwork97 "Inside, he was probably stone already." hit me really goddamn hard i dont know why

Ok, Even IF we don't LITERALLY Have a Darkner secret boss in deltarune chapter 3... we all agree that Ramb is the guy we treat as the secret boss and put with Jevil and Spamton in the fanarts... right. #DeltaruneChapter3 #deltarunespoilers

THE THIRD EPISODE. THE FOURTH FATE. deltarune.com

SO THEN. WILL YOU PARTAKE ONCE MORE?

I CAN FEEL IT QUICKENING NOW. HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO NEED EACH OTHER IN THIS WAY.

OUR BEAUTIFUL CONNECTION.

TREMBLES.

AND YET, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME PASSES, IT STILL

DAYS THAT FELT LIKE YEARS. YEARS THAT FELT LIKE DAYS.

HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN.

@RaysWorks I feel the lead buff was a great addition so slimeballs could be use more but they change it to be strings only so..

Do you like Minecraft's newest NERF and BUFFS? 🤓Why?

@st0kkke @Minecraft You have both automatically now

@Minecraft And why can’t we just get these for Java WITHOUT having to get bedrock as well

Decisions decisions... why not all 3?! Get A Minecraft Movie cape set inspired by the portals between Minecraft’s dimensions! From now until April 7, join A Minecraft Movie live event in Bedrock Edition and complete the daily challenges defending Midport Village to get the Yearn cape. Watch Minecraft creators livestream for 3min on Twitch and TikTok to get the Home and Menace capes and complete your set! aka.ms/AMinecraftMovi… Watch A Minecraft Movie in theatres April 4.

do you think gru stuck his whole nose in there when they did it