Rachel

I am at a kids fitness class and it is loud and chaotic, as you might expect. The man next to me is listening to YouTube on his phone on speaker next to me. He’s holding it up to his ear, but I can hear it. LOUDLY. Do I:

@uhhlexii Couch time is the BEST

My favorite things about Thanksgiving: 1. Spending time with family 2. Having everything cleaned up and put away by 3 pm so I can sit on the couch like a lump 😂

@uhhlexii I crashed out about 1:15, my anxiety was a 15/10 last night.

Me, not getting any sleep tonight, glued to Pete Delkus’s page

@FortniteStatus is something up with matchmaking? I couldn’t get in last night either. Zero build battle royale.

@uhhlexii I peeled a clementine for Lyra and it broke in half, which means she can’t break it in half. Clearly I am a monster who did this on purpose.

Officially at the stage where my toddler yelled at me for ripping his pancake in half because he wanted it whole 🤦🏻‍♀️

Watching those TWISTERS box office numbers to see if they're strong enough for the studio to go ahead with my pitch for TWIST3R, which right now consists entirely of "there is a good tornado on the team who helps them"

@uhhlexii Look; as a kid that loved and would in fact steal pickles out of other people’s hands, he’s gonna be fine, if a little salty lol

My child just begged for a dill pickle rice chip and ate it unfazed….. I’m genuinely terrified of him

@uhhlexii But how many Stanley Nickels is it worth??

This Walgreens coupon has the same value as a Schrute buck

@uhhlexii Also, I can do it with a broken heart is still 1000% a bop. Stfu, haters.

She delivers an album of bops on Midnights and y’all are mad this album is sad because she was sad?? Gtfo

Stuff like this thread is why I can never leave Twitter. 😂

NETHERFIELD PARK IS LET AT LAST!

@uhhlexii She didn’t either, but she checked the pharmacy for me. It helped a lot.

@Rabydel !! I didn’t even know that was an option! I’m gonna have to keep that in mind if he gets another ear infection

Toddlers do not take their medicine, they do not let you brush their teeth, basically anything that is required to be done. 0/10 would recommend,

@uhhlexii Did I absolutely beg my pediatrician for chewable amoxicillin? YUP. Alexandria was determined to make medicine time traumatic for both of us.

@Rabydel Everytime he sees the medicine bottle come out of the fridge he starts crying 😅 I even try to push the syringe to the back of his throat but he always just ends up with a mouthful. Poor baby

@LAYS @Fritolay so, my sour cream and onion chips are looking a little less chip-like and uniform than I’m used to…

I have ordered 2 phone cases in the last week, both the wrong size for my phone. What the heck kinda phone do i have 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hey @KelloggsUS , I know this is the mega size box, but didn’t realize I was getting mega size flakes too! 🤣

@uhhlexii Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.

Just considered dropping a Hershey toffee nugget into my coffee because all sense of boundaries have been lost over the last 3 years

Vampire squid propelling itself across the sea floor by flapping the fins on its side twitter.com/Levandov_2/sta…

@uhhlexii We have this one, it’s like half the cost of the Graco with all the same features.

Realizing we will save a couple hundred dollars a month on formula in a couple months. Then immediately realizing we’re going to have to upgrade car seats