Rachel Dewey

Have kids when you’re young because my baby was asleep until my hip popped while I tried to sneak out of his room.

Very disappointing to read @nytimes article about osteopathic physicians this morning. @ACOFP @AOAforDOs #prouddo

Someone needs to start a service where they bring their kid(s) to your house for a “play date” and break the specified toys of your choosing then leave and are never seen again.

“Stop. Beatboxing.” and other things I shouldn’t have to say at bedtime.

My four-year old just told me to put socks on her six-month old brother so I’m afraid she might secretly be a Southern Grandma.

I love the part of the night when I stop looking at my phone on the couch and start looking at my phone in bed.

I’m glad my 4-year old takes defending her baby brother so seriously but I wish she didn’t feel the need to defend him FROM ME.

You should never be in a room with police for more than an hour. If they read you your Miranda rights, you’re a suspect. Shut it down. Demand a lawyer. This is just some of the advice I got from a retired FBI Special Agent, and two renowned false confessions experts. /thread

That gave me a shock!

Don’t worry Patch [baby brother], that will never happen to our house.

A 🧵 of my 4-year old’s comments while watching “The Wizard of Oz”…

If I get one more Cyber Monday Last Hours email I’m gonna lose it.

I just got dressed for the day before taking a nap so I don’t have to rush to do it when a hangry newborn wakes me up and other weird things about maternity leave.

I got home from work and third-trimester-rage-cleaned shit I’ve been putting off for months and I was feeling GREAT (physically) but then I stopped to eat and now I feel AWFUL and I think my husband is a little scared of me?

“The air conditioning situation is giving me anxiety” and other sentences that are new to me since moving to Louisiana.

Has anyone done a study on the amount of productivity that is lost by releasing labs directly to patients?

Just told my daughter to stop playing with something she shouldn’t be playing with and her response was to pout and say “that wasn’t very nice! That was a bad choice you made!” and I don’t know how to feel about this.

Something I've learned living in Cajun country and enjoying Asian food/cooking: five pounds of rice is not that much rice.

This week is ridiculous (and it’s only Tuesday!) but at this point the fly bonking into my office window is going to be the thing that breaks me.