Coonie

Oh would you look at the time. Time to kill myself

Sunday night I’m usually sad because I don’t have a lady now I’m sad that the lady just left. I’m so fucked.

@reimufan099 The algo hasn’t hit the same the last few months.

Has anyone else realized there's nothing to fucking watch on youtube anymore

YO Outdoor Tom hit puberty in his last video

Today might be my favorite day on Instagram #milf

Mothers Day brunch is completely unaffordable now What the hell happened to this country?

I told her you are either good at bowling or good at sex. I proceeded to hit 4 strikes in a row to tamper expectations.

Kids got a date tonight. Instead of making a fool of myself I should probably just cancel.

How do people function without saving everyone’s contact in your phone. I probably get 20 phone calls a day and I need to know who all these people are. You talk to me once your contact is instantly saved.

Morgan Wallen is in town this weekend the most annoying people are going to be raiding the wholesale district.

There’s no such thing as being polite at a 4-way stop. If it’s your turn, fucking go.

When is Electrical Engineer appreciation week? Asking for a friend.

@Jim82082634 I would be canceled very quickly

@RacoonCoonie Coonie you should run for public office

Our children must live in a minimum security prison because we are to scared to put the bottom 2% of the population in maximum security prison.

@CasualPepsi Absolutely not

Why does it feel necessary to have a lesbian in the friend group?

“Changing consumer habits” = bad acting minorities that white woman have a savior complex for.

“Don’t waste my time” tf you saving it for

Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics! facebook.com/DonaldTrump/po…

Well I guess she didn’t like my date idea 😂

There are 3 roles in life minion, manager, or boss Minion hates manager Manager loves boss Boss loves minion