Rafael Lewis

If I owed you money why did you just tell me my balance was “outstanding?”

@DavidJBryden @nicksortor Every time republicans lose it’s cause the game is “rigged.” You ever think about that?

@nicksortor 🤦Zero percent reported in Fairfax... an hour after polls closed. Totally normal, right? Same game every time. Not a coincidence folks.

🚨 Polls in Virginia have been closed for an ENTIRE HOUR, and not a SINGLE VOTE has been reported in the deep state HQ of America: Fairfax County Coincidence? Of course not. It’s the same game every time.

@xoexecution @nicksortor Foreign countries is where our money is going currently.

@nicksortor Honestly they fucking steal this shit, people need to stand up. Over this shit man, take care of our own, take care of our kids! I’m sick of my taxes going to these foreign countries and people living here. Vote for your representation Virginians!

me: he's a glove that sells hamburger helper girl looking at the posters in my room: no i get it

@jared_shult Desperately wanting it to be true + having a delusional level of self-importance.

How are people falling for this

@TheWapplehouse @BridgetPhetasy Fuck it. Who’s his mom?

All of these guys need a stepdad to beat their ass in the front yard

@MMBeckerman @AdinUpdate 😂

@AdinUpdate Wait...don't tell me his name. Is it...perpendicular? I just hope they have another friend out there that joins them soon and he goes by the name lenticular.

Clavicular’s friend, who’s another looksmaxxer, explains he cries all the time because the tears make his hair SOFTER 😭💔 “I take the tears and put it in my hair, it’s like sea salt spray., it makes my hair softer”

@sharma_views So his feelings didn’t care about the facts. Curious.

This still has no answer 🔥 REPORTER: Any evidence Iran was about to attack the U.S.? WHITE HOUSE: The president had a feeling. 😭 50 DAYS OF GLOBAL CHAOS… ALL FOR A FEELING.

@HeyLukOverThere @realannapaulina @timburchett @mattgaetz We’ve all been buckled-up for like 10 years now.

How did we get here? Strange things are afoot at the place we call home! Watch to the end because things keep getting weirder and weirder, and I for one am here for it! Keep it up @realannapaulina @timburchett @mattgaetz

Books are amazing because a stranger from 200 years ago can still ruin your afternoon emotionally.

The Moby Dick fandom is dying. Retweet if you're a true Dickhead.

riddle me this, batman.. when will microsoft edge be allowed to microsoft cum?

jerking off in one fell swoop like a samurai unsheathing his sword

Had a lady order an espresso martini and followed it with a spicy margarita. Ok Mrs Fart.

@lady_valor_07 Anyone else squint to see if it was Steve Harvey?

Fries aren’t available, what are you having with this burger?

pronouncing Bojangles like Los Angeles

“As of today, I no longer consider myself a Catholic” Fox News’ Sean Hannity makes it pretty clear: Trump comes before everything, even over his religion. It’s a cult.

@Gunblaze1969 Sir Phillip Ryan

Handsome guy needs a name

@UneditedView @mattvanswol Capitalism

I miss when there were stores. Where did the toy stores go? Where did the craft stores go? Where did the electronics stores go? Toys r Us, KB Toys, Toy Works, Circuit City, RadioShack, Service Merchandise, JoAnn Fabrics, AC Moore . . . There were also myriad small businesses that were staples of communities. People like to touch things before they buy them - see how heavy, durable, soft, small or big, and how well made something is.

The most radicalizing content on the internet is old footage of Americans shopping in stores 25 years ago. It's calm, quiet, civil, no fighting, no screaming, no phones, it's not overly crowded. You can't quite describe it, but you miss it so deeply.

@Yamscasino Movie lawyer here. If he ACTUALLY cooked the grilled cheese it means he wasn’t ACTING like he was cooking the grilled cheese and im about to sue his FUCKING ASS INTO OBLIVION.

Ohhh wow. Grilled cheese all by himself.

@JoJoFromJerz Yes

What percentage of Trump’s cabinet is high or drunk right now?