Randi Lawson

I'm a loaner, Dottie. A rental.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat In a chef hat

On my way to support my college boyfriend at his intramural frisbee golf tournament

if you say Tim Burton 3x he appears & turns your whole family goth

wanted to show u guys my entry in the 2023 work pumpkin decorating contest

my entry in our work pumpkin decorating contest entitled ‘What’s in the box?!’

Halloween, it's a lifestyle.

The year is 2032. The top grossing movie in America is Hocus Pocus 9: Hokeyo Drift

Free Eulogy Suggestion: They all adored her. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads. They all thought she was a righteous dude.

Surgeon Generals Warning: drinking cold brew coffee while pregnant increases the risk of your baby being born with a podcast

@LangstonKerman My friend @Ampersand_B calls Legally Blonde “Pink Lawyer”

My mother-in-law keeps accidentally calling Stranger Things “Spooky Times” and I’ve never loved anything more

I'm not an economics expert, but instead of "supply and demand" how about "supply and ASK NICELY".

I miss being a kid when all u had to do to be cool was just be 2 years older than the other person

A dog is like a toddler. A cat is like your adult child who needs to move back in with you and resents the shit out of you for it.

Sesame Street: Burt & Ernie are not a couple. Burt & Ernie:

@ecareyo 🙌🏻

We are recapping the new season of RHOBH on Sexy Unique Pod

happy mothers day ?

I truly achieved mom status when a kid at the playground I didn’t know handed me his trash

Happy Starwars™️ Day to those who celibate

Found this note in my 6yo’s back pack. Guys, we’re gonna be ok