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i honestly can't believe that i'm headlining red rocks on saturday
music has been an integral part of my life for as long as i can remember. my mom told me that when i was three i was walking up to the DJ at my aunt's wedding and requesting songs. some of my earliest memories are dancing to music in my parent's house, making mix CDs as a teen, going to as many concerts that i possibly could afford
i never dreamed of being a DJ or music producer. i thought that i should go to college, get a degree, work a corporate job, get married, have kids... you know, the american dream. i did try to take that path, however something felt wrong. i never felt like that path resonated with me personally
i had been making fan mixes and mashups for years but i never felt good enough to produce music or try to DJ live. my friends and partner pushed me hard enough and finally one day i figured i would give it a try. at the same time i was getting sober and i found myself addicted to creating, letting out years of passion for music and trauma through music. i felt called to create a community like the ones that hooked me deep into the music scene as a teenager and young adult
fast forward from 2018 - 8 years later, and i'm headlining red rocks. something that felt impossible to me, not even in the realm of existence. it feels surreal, it feels like a dream. i struggle deeply with imposter syndrome -- not feeling like i deserve to be where i am, something that couples with my dissociative issues i deal with in my personal life. i can't believe it
however when i do take a look back and think about all the empty rooms, the free shows, the grueling travel, the second guessing, dealing with people who told me i would never make anything for myself, my own mental health ... i feel a sense of calm and pride at the journey i set my self on. and i know that none of it would be possible without the help of my friends, partner, fans, and music community. i am so thankful for everyone who has been on this journey with me
as we head to red rocks i've been able to take all of my inspirations, all of my learnings from the last years of touring, my highs, lows, and the best parts of all of my shows... and take them and have turned them into what i feel will be my best show to date. intentional with storytelling, a fun lineup, incredible production, sound, merch - everything about this show i have been involved in. it's been overwhelming but in the best way
if you've been around for the journey i ask that you come to red rocks. check out where i've taken this path. come see the culmination of almost a decade of hard work. i promise you i'm pouring myself into every aspect
i wish i could convey the emotion i have for this show but honestly i think it's impossible. so i'll do what i've done best these last years and try to put those feelings into music. i hope this show makes you dance, laugh, cry, and love. i certainly will be doing all of those
thank you for the support. i love you all immensely!
- paul
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