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Here I sit in my room,
Staring out the window,
Up to the midnight sky
Not even two minutes had past from my tenth birthday, and all I could do was sit in my room and pretend I didn’t hear the pain and agony coming from my guardians downstairs
The bickering and the slaps became music to my ears and soon enough, I could drift into sleep
Not this night
I saw dad angrily digging a grave
Wiping sweat from his face,
And digging some more
He was a man filled with grief, anger, and regret as he always said that he was never welcomed into the world
Was he right?
Was he born into a world of sun that’s meant to fail us all?
Betray us all?
He hid his pain but I started to see it in his eyes
It was slowly building through his body like cancer and eventually,
It had spread to his brain
Mom walked into my room
Her face was beaten
Her nose was broken and her eye blackened
Yet,
A smile came upon her face as it’s what she had used to grace her presences
While only for a mere glimpse,
I indeed saw it
The asylum in her eyes
The abyss in her blood
The hatred in her heart
As I looked at mother and forced a smile,
“Oh dear! Do not dare be upset by the passing of life. For my heart remains yours through death and I shall live through you.”
She quietly shut the door
Leaving me, an hour past my tenth birthday,
Searching the room for answers
Dad came in next and his look was different
It was blank and emotionless,
Almost like a demon had possessed him
We looked at each other,
Him nonchalantly and I,
Just I
“Do not praise such a failure of your father. As I was ridden with death and despair being forced to live out my last days as a shallow, pathetic man. As I wish to say I love you, I do not. As I wish to say I love that imbecile you call a mother, I cannot. My love has decomposed into trash and hatred has taken over. Runt, you will soon be alone.”
A few minutes later,
As I’m back to staring out the window,
I see my dad dragging my deceased mother to her grave
He threw her in,
Began to bury her as he looked up and made contact with me
He went to the grave adjacent to mothers
He stood still on the edge as he looked at me and smiled
A gun placed to his head and it was done
I smiled as he fell into the grave
A thud noise when he hit the bottom
I buried him, mother too
As it was my turn to go
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die.”
Now we all lie in six feet of dirt
A troubled family
Foolish as well
We weren’t ever welcomed by life
But we shall enjoy the comings of death
“Amen.”
English
