Tobin Miller

131 posts

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Tobin Miller

Tobin Miller

@RealTobinMiller

NYC Comedian. Taco Reviewer.

Manhattan, NY Katılım Temmuz 2015
1.2K Takip Edilen2.8K Takipçiler
Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
Just got my third vaccine shot
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
I'm still working on my COVID toilet paper stash
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
Whenever someone says "Here's the bottom line", i'm like why the hell didn't we start with that, why did we just use half an hour talking about lines above the bottom line?
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
Has anyone told Ariana Grande that 34 plus 35 is 69?
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
2021 is already off to a great start. Greta Thunberg just turned 18!
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
If you’re doing a puzzle and you don’t go for the edges first, you are a psychopath.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
There is nothing more selfish than a hand written card.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
80% of dollars have traces of cocaine on them. 80% of bitcoin have traces of silk on them.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
If your password has an "&" symbol in it, you are unhackable.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
If your password's special character isn't an exclamation point, you are a psychopath
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
Covid-19 Vaccines to Be Stored Secretly Under Tight Security. Later: What happened to the vaccines? Security guard: they hung themselves
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
The worst part of getting catfished is getting home and immediately going back on Tinder.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
If you aren’t on Chatroulette right now you aren’t quarantining properly.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
Two wrongs don't make a right, which is why I always make sure to do at least 12 wrongs. After 12 wrongs, you are crystal clear with your intentions.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
I remember being 7 and thinking I was old.
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Tobin Miller
Tobin Miller@RealTobinMiller·
My girlfriend asked me what John Wick was about. I told her the story line doesn’t matter.
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