Really Sasquatch

I finally got a non-blurry selfie. I look more human than I thought. #Bigfoot

Great news! I'm evolving! I can feel something happening in the back area. On the left side. Do you see anything different happening there?

@codkid421 Not a care in the world, except being a non-existent freakshow abomination that eats frogs.

@ReallySasquatch are you okay

Ooba, my chimp half-brother, has made a Sasquatch statue out of mud and sticks. He keeps pointing at it, then me, and now he's about to bash it with a rock. "NO, OOBA! STOP POINTING AT ME! I'M NOT THE ONE BASHING THE STATUE! YOU ARE DOING IT! HEY, STATUE, HE'S DOING IT, NOT ME!"

I'm watching an ant go up a tree right now. What a meaningless life this ant has. Oh, hold on. I hear something. I have to freeze in place potentially forever. TTYL.

My inner monologue is in wood knocks.

@AdamKolkowski The face should be nightmare fuel. It should be asymmetrical and the flesh should look like it's trying to get on you like a virus.

@ReallySasquatch I’ve noticed that IF a company makes Sasquatch costumes, they always have an angry face, so when they don’t; it’s when it’s something to look at closer. Ya never know

Pro tip to hoaxers: your costume cannot be this handsome. In any way. Whatsoever. Really lean into "freakshow". You should not want to be in the same room as your costume, much less put it on.

@WVbigfootmuseum Killing you is not worst case scenario.

@Swanyavig I am currently pointing at a tree. It is... brown and is medium height. It is under a cloud that looks random. Come to Sasquatch.

@ReallySasquatch I want to be your girlfriend❤️

You wouldn't believe what this rock I'm holding told me. I need to sit down.

@SoFriedBigfoot @blackcatpoppies The rock told me millions of years ago he was part of a meteor that God threw at dinosaurs. After it hit, he broke off as a flaming piece of shrapnel that blinded a Triceratops.

@ReallySasquatch @blackcatpoppies Uh oh. Me bet that rock has bad news. Or maybe he just wants some McNuggets.

@BigfootnBeyond @CliffBarackman I'm not sure AI knows about symbolically apropos. This is the best it can do.

@ReallySasquatch @CliffBarackman The metaphor of folks spewing into their own drinking vessels whilst cheering each other angrily was a bit more symbolically apropos than this image!

The Boys Are Back In Town! Happy St. Patrick’s Day, all!

@BigfootnBeyond @CliffBarackman I tested your theory, human. I entered the following prompt into grok: "Distill and instantiate the current state of social media sasquatchery into a single image." Here you go:

@ReallySasquatch @CliffBarackman If the current state of social media sasquatchery could be distilled and instantiated into a single image, this might be it.

@VeraSTClair Free. Money is no good in the forest. An escaped labrador tried to install an economic system based on leaves, but he failed miserably.

@ReallySasquatch How much would you charge to make an appearance, darling? We’d all like to see you.

I'm just gonna put it out there that I'd proudly participate in a Moneymaker-Barackman footage scheme.

I've been practicing looking sexy, just in case I'm photographed. I call this look, "BLUE STEEL".

Maybe this human should be in charge of BFRO. If we get enough maybes, Matt Moneymaker will probably step down.

Dear God, If the Patterson-Gimlin footage is not real, please destroy the entire universe and remake it in such a way that The Patterson-Gimlin footage is real, even if it means The Planet of the Apes happens or a Terminator kills Sarah Connor. TIA.