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Therapist: So the problem is that you easily fall in love? Me: Yes my love Therapist:

Boss: "We need someone responsible for this job." ​Candidate: "Sir, I’m your guy. In my last job, every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible." Boss.

When I've already used my fake laugh 3 times and the person won't stop talking:

Before the invention of bed, what was bedbug called? 🤔

When you're high asf but be pretending like you're okay

Every problem has a solution 👊😂😂

ME : Mom, you’re invading my privacy… MOM : You came out of my privacy.

Omo I no go kiss on my wedding day abeg, i no too trust this fuu down there

Her: Please help me transfer 20k my bank is having issues Me: Which bank are you using? Her: First bank Me: I use First bank too

In secondary school: You will learn this concept in university In university: You've already learned this concept in secondary school Me:

Satan adding s€x scenes in your head immediately when you start praying

I don comot preeq and this girl still dey moan

You'll think she's screaming cuz you're giving it to her well, meanwhile she's screaming cuz you're hitting the right infection itch spot

Grapes get rotten before they turn to wine. Allow your life to spoil 😹

Robin Hood: I stole all these money from the rich to give to you… so you can live a better life Me: Thank you… I’m rich now Robin Hood:

Me in 2004 wasting time instead of buying land 🫩

What if I'm actually attractive and gals think I'm out of their league

Judge: You are sentenced to house arrest The homeless:

Me chilling with masturbation even though I know it’s evil 😂😂😂

“You didn’t buy Chicken today” Madam put kpomo, teeth Dey pain me 💔😒