JunkFoodJones

@atdanwhite This is exactly why I piss in the washing machine - bigger bowl, shorter line.

F this Super Bowl party

Mcgirdle

@atdanwhite I know why the doughboy laughs. When his chef’s hat askew and belly bruised. It is not a chuckle of joy or glee. But a prayer he sends from his hearts deep core. A plea that upward to heaven he sends. I know why the doughboy laughs.

Trying to settle a bet.

Aaron Rodger’s has no chill. 😂

@atdanwhite That’s clearly a hooker. Be better Golden Corral.

Literally all I want in life.

@_willcompton Thankfully you have a lifetime of auto restoration and repair expertise

Been talking to my dad about getting the ol’ 1959 Dodge up and running with a makeover This was Willy Sr.’s (my grandpa) truck back in the day that he passed down to my dad Gotta keep the legacy alive

@atdanwhite Fuck that beagle, Snoopy has been a real asshole to Woodstock since he got a cut of those Schultz royalties. That’s 39 stories of fall time to remember he‘s not falling off the ol’ red doghouse anymore.

I could never live in a high-rise.

@PardonMyTake Already fully in character for his upcoming starring turn in “With Arms Wide Open”, the Scott Stapp story. Heavy Oscar buzz.

College football expert Timothée Chalamet at the Knicks game

@BarryOnHere Great, now you got yourself a Charles Oakley problem.

@_willcompton Yeah, but are you hurt or are you injured Will? Because we’re all hurting this time of year Will, but if you’re injured, fine, go see the trainer.

Legit appreciate the feedback from you guys. The war stories about back pain is no joke. I’m hearing an epidural does wonders Then just need to work with a good PT and stay discipline with the ATG protocols Gotta take this serious like I’m trying to get back in the league

To my family & friends of the internet I’m writing to you because I need your thoughts and prayers There’s a bulging disc in my low back and I am truly in hell. My daughter is berating me on the couch because I can’t play hide and seek, my wife just took out the trash with a look that is questioning my manhood, and I’m at a point where I’m internally scolding myself for not having taken care of this issue that’s built up since 2020 because it feels like it happens at least a few times per year. (I’m also scared to sneeze and cough because it cripples me into a feminine fetal position) Your support is crucial. I will also promise you right now that starting tomorrow I will begin the journey of fixing what I have going on structurally. My longevity depends on, my discipline in the weight room depends on it, and my daughter’s ballet recital at the end of May depends on it. Thank you. Willy C

@atdanwhite That line only works when sent at 3 a.m. That’s Economics 101 first chapter first page stuff Dan.

Seeing things clearly now.

@atdanwhite Or scrap metal. Even when there’s clearly a lot of good copper in there thats going get ya an easy hundred bones at the scrapyard, and that fucking dickhead manager Gary lives right by the scrapyard anyway so it’s not like he’s gotta go out of his way to collect.

Screaming at the McDonald’s cashier to mix my AG1 powder into my McFlurry. He says he’s not allowed to put anything into the food. I say that’s not a fucking rule so he shows me where it says it on the website. I say just give me a Filet-o-fish They don’t accept Traveler’s Checks

@atdanwhite Forgot to note, my children are shitters, so you may have varying results.

@atdanwhite Our family has been thrilled with the interior roof mounted sawdust and sand spreader. A whisper silent rotating fan blows a protective 1/4 inch layer over ever surface in the interior. We scoop the clumps daily and vacuum the rest out on sundays as a fun family activity.

Won’t buy a Rolls Royce

@BussinWTB Secretariat

GUESS THE GUEST ⬇️

@mkrzyzewski21 @_willcompton Go all in on the under covered stuff - lax, timber sports, bull riding. I want betting advice and banter on who is going to win the national tractor pull championships. Clean it up Will.

@Rexweeze @_willcompton That might lose the loyal 150 peeps that watch with them yesterday

Appreciate the millions of people who tuned into our stream today 🙏🏻 I will be parlaying and betting every OVER on 2.5 points in the first minute tomorrow

@atdanwhite Doug only uses noise-amplifying paint

Looking for noise-cancelling paint

@kirkmin Well this finally settles our long-standing bet on who would live longer unsupervised, Gene Hackman or Gene Hackman’s dog.

My question is this: A wealthy 95 year old with Alzheimer’s was left alone for a week? No one checked in at all?

@Linda_McMahon @POTUS I get them confused, this is the McMahon who only figuratively shits on people, right?

It’s an honor to serve as the 13th Secretary of Education under President Trump. @POTUS pledged to make U.S. education the best in the world, return education to the states, and free students from bureaucracy through school choice. I intend to make good on those promises. Follow me at The Department of Education @EDSecMcMahon 🇺🇸